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Old 03-19-2012, 09:40 PM
amkronos amkronos is offline
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Been lurking here for about a year now, and thought it is time to officially join and hopefully learn and share alike with this great community.

First a little about myself, and my primary relationship. We have 3 kids, been married for 9 years (both in our 30's), and been pretty involved in the S&M scene for years. Last year we started a poly "V" between her and her former Master, but over the last week that is falling apart due to his primary just not accepting poly as a way of life for her. I've taken her back under my control again, and helping her move on and be taken care of.

At about the same time that happened I took a new sub (a good 18 years younger than I am) under consideration, and introduced her to my wife. They instantly hit it off, and it's been about 10 days of NRE heaven for the three of us. What started as someone who would be strictly mine has grown into the makings of a poly family with everyone equally loving the other. It's kind of crazy to finally find your Unicorn but here I am a Dom with two hot (yes they're freaking gorgeous) pansexual subs who want each other as much as I want them.

Now comes the tricky part... The new sub is being kicked out by her roommates. We have a spare room that was empty (was going to be a dungeon, but oh well) and we've offered it to the new sub to stay in either till she gets back on her feet, or decides otherwise. I've read a lot of threads here on cohabitation, but thought I could get some advice here before laying down the ground rules.

Would giving the initial move in time a time limit be a good idea, or would it be insulting? She is so submissive that I know without a choice made on her own she would simply stay till I told her to leave. I feel we should revisit in a month how the living situation is going, and give her an option of an out if it's not working.

Money might be an issue, she's a poor college girl but I know her independent nature will not be too happy if this is for free. I am financially well off, so it would be more for her sake than mine. What would be a respectable number to ask for 20 year old college student, even if it is a token amount?

Chores, she has service as one of the aspects of being a submissive. I know this will be one thing she will want to do. How much should be given too her so to not make it feel like she's a slave to the house?

Personal space and time. She will have her own bedroom, bathroom and living room. Plenty of personal space will be provided, but personal time I am concerned about. I need to be able to give my wife one on one time, my new girl one on one time, both of them will want romantic time together, and the three of us together will most likely be the most common scenario. Any hints on how to best go about divvying up time?
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Old 03-20-2012, 12:43 AM
km34 km34 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by amkronos View Post
Would giving the initial move in time a time limit be a good idea, or would it be insulting? She is so submissive that I know without a choice made on her own she would simply stay till I told her to leave. I feel we should revisit in a month how the living situation is going, and give her an option of an out if it's not working.
I would definitely put a time frame in place to allow you all to openly discuss how the living situation is working for you in a certain amount of time. I think revisiting every month until she moves or you all decide that the discussions could happen less frequently sounds perfectly reasonable.

The statement in italics concerns me. I understand people are submissive, but this sounds more dependent than submissive to me. If she can't even decide where she wants to live how is she capable of deciding she wants to be in a long term relationship? Or making sure that relationship is healthy for her and everyone else involved? I would definitely worry about her lack of decision-making if I were you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by amkronos View Post
Money might be an issue, she's a poor college girl but I know her independent nature will not be too happy if this is for free. I am financially well off, so it would be more for her sake than mine. What would be a respectable number to ask for 20 year old college student, even if it is a token amount?
It depends how much your home is worth/how much you pay in rent AND how much she brings in what would be a fair and reasonable amount.

Quote:
Originally Posted by amkronos View Post
Chores, she has service as one of the aspects of being a submissive. I know this will be one thing she will want to do. How much should be given too her so to not make it feel like she's a slave to the house?
Is it possible that she would accept more chores (besides what she would normally do as part of the m/s relationship) INSTEAD of paying rent? Besides things directly related to your kids (packing lunches, cleaning or overseeing the cleaning of their rooms, etc), she could do much of the home maintenance which is invaluable in a home setting without stressing herself financially. That's assuming she has the time, as well.

Quote:
Originally Posted by amkronos View Post
Personal space and time. She will have her own bedroom, bathroom and living room. Plenty of personal space will be provided, but personal time I am concerned about. I need to be able to give my wife one on one time, my new girl one on one time, both of them will want romantic time together, and the three of us together will most likely be the most common scenario. Any hints on how to best go about divvying up time?
Talk to the them. And get a calendar. It sounds like you have a ton of room in your place if you have a spare bedroom, bathroom, AND living room WITH three kids too. Depending on ages and interests of the kids, your schedule has the potential to be crazy and confusing. Personally, I try to schedule a month at a time and then at the beginning of each week review and adjust as necessary. Maybe try to start doing something like that as a family unit to make sure nobody and nothing gets overlooked? Also, are your wife and the new woman going to get alone time too to develop their relationship? Don't overlook giving them an opportunity to get to know one another if they want that one on one time even if the feelings aren't as deep at first.

That's all I've got.
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Old 03-20-2012, 02:18 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by amkronos View Post
I need to be able to give my wife one on one time, my new girl one on one time, both of them will want romantic time together, and the three of us together will most likely be the most common scenario. Any hints on how to best go about divvying up time?
I can't speak to the D/s stuff (not my thing), but just to let you know if she's a college student, she probably has a pretty set schedule and will need lots of time to study around that, plus any additional college activities she may have signed up for. The general formula is that a student should allot at least two to three hours of study time for every hour of class time per week. So that will be a big consideration.
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Last edited by nycindie; 03-20-2012 at 02:22 AM.
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