So I talked to her last night. All of my worst fears were confirmed. She told me that she thinks I've decided to hear what I want to hear to justify what she called emotional cheating. She thinks I'm rather full of crap, and that I'm completely wrong to have feelings for another woman while I'm with her. She says that she can't be married to me while I have these feelings. She didn't wear her wedding ring today. She couldn't look at me this morning, and recoiled when I tried to hug her. I made it clear that it wasn't about loving her any less, but she told me that she loves me less now.
I feel broken now. I feel like I put all of this time into figuring out this piece of myself that I couldn't define and I reached a greater understanding of myself. Now that thing that I've realized is a part of me is causing nothing but pain and havoc. I don't think I can turn it off. I wish I could. I wish I could go back. My life is in smoldering ruins right now, and I don't know what tomorrow holds for any of us. She said she needs space. I'll give it to her if that's what she needs. I just feel so powerless about it.