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Old 11-24-2009, 09:16 AM
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Christian Christian is offline
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Default Help! I have a bi-sexual girlfriend!

Sorry, for the title, its true, but also meant to garner attention.

My name is Christian and I am in a very good relationship with a girl named Eve. Eve is bi-sexual and I knew that from day one. In fact it was a fight between myself and a lesbian friend of mine to who "got" her. Of course, it wasnt really our decision..lol.

When we started dating, she really downplayed her attraction to girls and lesbian sex. But, after about a year she wanted to start talking about girls. I wasn't against it as I actually have a long history of dating bi and gay girls. I am a pretty feminine guy (ive always joked that i must be the stepping stone for some of them). For, Eve that is not the case as her ONLY sexual experiances before me where lesbian. So, i know its not her "coming out" or anything. If anything, she is actually obsessed with me. (In a good way)

But, now she is expressing that she would like to at some point have sex with girls again. Now, here is where (according to my noob research into this lifestyle) where it differs from what i think most must mean with "polyamory" ...as she says she has no desire to "love" them (beyond that which is what one should do). She made her point clear that it is only a sexual thing she wants. And would prefer me to be present (as in, in the room or house at the time, but not a threesome)

My Response: at first excited as most guys would be with the "fantasy" of girl on girl sex. Then contemplative of what that would mean. I believe that personally I am a monogamous person. I feel that that is what helps me be my best. But, I also actually believe she could have sex with these girls and it not "hurt" her state of stability. She also has stated that she would never want me to sexually participate with her girlfriends and admits it would be a jelousy factor, adding that if I was bi she would be ok with me sleeping with other males. Is this lop sided and bad, even if that is not what id choose to do?

My Question: Is this a common form of this lifestyle? To have one partner who is bi and the only one exploring other sexual partners? I have read many things here stating that ground rules are important and we have discussed them. Also, she has made it very clear to me that she wants to marry me (i have reservations about marriage, but its something im working through) and that she doesnt want to really have girlfriends until we are married. So her sincerity and commitment to our relationship is not at all at question.

Is there someone on here like me? With a wife or fiance who wants to have something similar? How is it for you? I know, from a fantasy standpoint many guys would kill to have two or more girls in their bed, but how does it make one feel that you cant touch? Only be there and look.

Sorry for the long post. Just want to learn as much as I can before making a decision. Thank you.
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