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Old 03-12-2012, 03:14 PM
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Default UK Maternity-Paternity law & Poly families ...?

Hi, just a quick question - under UK law is it only the two people who are registered as a baby's parents that are eligible for maternity/paternity leave?

Is there any leeway for a third parent to take time off too?

(I suspect not, but would like to check simply because our circumstance is a bit complex, with surrogacy and stuff)

EDIT: sorry to just jump in with this as my first post, but looking around the intertubes all I can find is beginner's guides on how to not be jealous etc, nothing on the legalities of being a parent in a poly family!

Last edited by Hollyx; 03-12-2012 at 03:20 PM.
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Old 03-13-2012, 03:35 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hollyx View Post
Hi, just a quick question - under UK law is it only the two people who are registered as a baby's parents that are eligible for maternity/paternity leave?

Is there any leeway for a third parent to take time off too?

(I suspect not, but would like to check simply because our circumstance is a bit complex, with surrogacy and stuff)

EDIT: sorry to just jump in with this as my first post, but looking around the intertubes all I can find is beginner's guides on how to not be jealous etc, nothing on the legalities of being a parent in a poly family!
Mother and father of the child only, yes.

"Surrogate parents
If you and your husband, wife or partner are having a child through surrogacy you will not normally be eligible for Statutory Maternity or Adoption Leave. However you will be eligible for unpaid parental leave once you have got a parental order." - http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/parents/...ay/dg_10039631
Also - http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/...lace/DG_190788 - For paternal side of law.
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Old 03-13-2012, 04:22 PM
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Well, that's kick in the guts. Thanks for your reply, much appreciated!
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Old 03-13-2012, 04:31 PM
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Well, that's kick in the guts. Thanks for your reply, much appreciated!
Quite alright. That site is the best site to go to for law stuff too. It's the UK government site. It would be great for it to be easier for all 3 in a surrogate situation to get time off. Just because you aren't the mother in the sense of giving birth, you are still the legal mother. and it's just like the father in a regular situation. He didn't give birth, but still gets time off. So it doesn't make much sense that you have to apply for it and go through complicated processes just because you use a surrogate.

It's made me wonder about a lesbian couple who have a baby too.
I can imagine that a gay couple, it would usually come under adoption, but in a lesbian relationship, they do have the ability to give birth themselves, rather than just adopt.

As for a full poly situation, I can definitely see how that could be difficult to write into law. Because there are so many ways people practise poly, that the law written for it, would have to be very general.

I hope you manage to get what you need in your situation and that it isn't too difficult to manage.
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Old 03-13-2012, 04:57 PM
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Probably the best solution will be for me to just save up and take as much paid and unpaid leave as I can muster! Just as well we're not already pregnant, so it'll give some time to save.

Thanks again for your help
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Old 03-13-2012, 11:19 PM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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I'm pretty sure the surrogate parents are the ones who are biologically having the child but not raising them. That is, the surrogate mother is the person carrying the baby. They don't get paid leave (because they're not raising the kid) but they can get unpaid leave (presumably to give birth and rest before and afterwards). I would assume the parents would be taking care of the surrogate parent(s) as part of the arrangement though.

I don't think any of that is really transferable to poly.
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Old 03-14-2012, 08:46 AM
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I don't think any of that is really transferable to poly.
Yeah, I was really hoping there would be some kind of loophole so all three of us could have time to bond with the baby; we'll just have to muddle through within their rules. It'll be ok, though this is another circumstance where being a woman who can't have children makes me not valid in some way ... ho hum.
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