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  #81  
Old 01-19-2012, 01:40 PM
OpenandCountry OpenandCountry is offline
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Originally Posted by rory View Post
As an OT I would point out that I do think that T is an even more forgotten letter, in many occasions.

]
Very true.
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  #82  
Old 01-21-2012, 12:13 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rory View Post
As an OT I would point out that I do think that T is an even more forgotten letter, in many occasions.
So true. I can hardly watch Conan O Brien anymore because of all the jokes about Chaz Bono and other transfolk.
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  #83  
Old 03-13-2012, 01:58 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Okay, I have a question which I don't think really needs a thread of its own, and I think this thread might be the best place to post it.

I've been corresponding with a guy who contacted me at a dating site for the last two weeks or so. He indicates himself as Bisexual in his profile, and he told me that he considers himself Bi because he doesn't mind "how close he gets to another man's cock" when he's in a threesome, but he's not attracted to other men. Mind you, he's talking about one threesome he had in college many years ago, and he's always approached all his other sexual experiences as straight. But he feels that because most straight guys are so "afraid of coming near another man's junk," the fact that he is not homophobic and wasn't weirded out by that means he's Bi.

I told him that I've known straight guys who would not be uncomfortable next to another man's equipment during a threesome and still consider themselves straight. I said that if I see "bisexual" in a guy's profile, I assume he is sexually attracted to other men as well as women and is open to or welcomes the opportunity to have sex with either -- not just that dicks don't bother him in group sex settings. Am I wrong?

From what I understand, maybe the word "queer" would suit this man better. The site we're on does have that as a choice. I'm not trying to tell him whatever label he is happy with is wrong or anything. I am just looking at the assumption I make when I see Bisexual in a guy's profile, and wondering if I'm off-base in my understanding of what that means, for when I do a search at these sites.

Any thoughts?
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Last edited by nycindie; 03-13-2012 at 03:55 PM.
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  #84  
Old 03-13-2012, 02:25 PM
RunicWolf RunicWolf is offline
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Meh. I'd say he's Straight. Not being afraid of another man's junk is not some kind of sexuality. It's either because you are inured to seeing another man's penis or you just straight don't give a damn.
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  #85  
Old 03-13-2012, 02:26 PM
KyleKat KyleKat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Okay, I have a question which I don't think really needs a thread of its own, and I think this thread might be the best place to post it.

I've been corresponding with a guy who contacted me at a dating site for the last two weeks or so. He indicates himself as Bisexual in his profile, and he told me that he considers himself Bi because he doesn't mind "how close he gets to another man's cock" when he's in a threesome, but he's not attracted to other men. Mind you, he's talking about one threesome he had in college many years ago, and he's always approached all his other sexual experiences as straight. But he feels that because most straight guys are so "afraid of coming near another man's junk," the fact that he is not homophobic and wasn't weirded out by that means he's Bi.

I told him that I've known straight guys who would not be uncomfortable next to another man's equipment during a threesome and still consider themselves straight. I said that if I see "bisexual" in a guy's profile, I assume he is sexually attracted to other men as well as women and is open to or welcomes the opportunity to have sex with either -- not just that dicks don't bother him in group sex settings. Am I wrong?

From what I understand, maybe the word "queer" would suit this man better. The site we're on does have that as a choice. I'm not trying to tell him whatever label he is happy with is wrong or anything. I am just looking at the assumption I make when I see Bisexual in a guy's profile, and wondering if I'm off-base in my understanding of what that means, because when I do a search at these sites, I generally search for straight guys.

Any thoughts?
I am a strictly straight male. I have had a MMF threesome where we were near each other but only touched the girl. I was not weirded out by his penis. There is a difference between homophobia and straight. If there is an option have him suggest he change his profile to "mostly straight" if he feels the need to identify. Unless he is willing to have some form of romantic encounter without a female present, he isn't bisexual and that is misleading.
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  #86  
Old 03-13-2012, 03:47 PM
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RfromRMC RfromRMC is offline
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Weird, cuz if this guy labels himself as Bi on the dating site, what does he do when he get responses from men? (Obviously they're gonna be pretty disappointed!)

Anyways, there is that whole Kinsey scale and such. Maybe he's a 1 or something. I'd still say he's straight, but I guess if he wants to call himself bi, I guess that's his business. At the very least, you know he's a decently openminded person, so there's that.

We've all heard (ad nauseum) about the wild young girls who call themselves bi to make themselves sound sexy to straight guys. It would be hilarious if he was doing the same in reverse.
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  #87  
Old 03-13-2012, 04:57 PM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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I've known straight guys who are very comfortable with their heterosexuality and wouldn't mind being in a threesome with another guy if they were both focusing on a girl. Harry is one! They identify as straight. My guess is that this guy is at least bi-curious but (rightly) supposes that this is info that would make you less into him rather than more. I could be wrong about him, but bi just doesn't mean "not afraid of penises".
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  #88  
Old 03-13-2012, 11:13 PM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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I agree with the others that not being afraid of penises doesn't make someone bi, it's about attraction.

Maybe he was in the threesome and realised he was aroused by it, even though he's not attracted to males in general, and therefore figures he's not completely straight?
Otherwise, I would say he's just "straight, but not narrow" as they call it, or at most bicurious.

I too am curious what he tells the guys who contact him.
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  #89  
Old 03-13-2012, 11:23 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RfromRMC View Post
Weird, cuz if this guy labels himself as Bi on the dating site, what does he do when he get responses from men? (Obviously they're gonna be pretty disappointed!)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tonberry View Post
I too am curious what he tells the guys who contact him.
Yeah, I hadn't thought of that. I will definitely ask him about it.
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The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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  #90  
Old 03-14-2012, 04:26 AM
feelyunicorn feelyunicorn is offline
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It`s the opposite for me. Since women tend to be more monogamous than men, after a lifetime of being unable to find like-minded women, I started considering men.

I`m still very new to bisexuality, but I made out with a dude at a party last weekend and it was like a ton of bricks lifted off my shoulders just not to have to deal with pursuing a woman. Or, worrying whether I was macho enough, rich enough, tall enough, smooth enough, marriage-material enough, etc. etc.
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Last edited by feelyunicorn; 03-14-2012 at 04:29 AM.
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