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Old 03-13-2012, 03:55 PM
Cleo Cleo is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 414
Default Poly relationships and your social life

My husband and I have been together for almost 20 years. We opened up our relationship 3 years ago - at first it was just for mostly sexual playing with others (swapping with other couples, threesomes) but this quickly led to 1 on 1 encounters with others, and that in turn led to connections with others that were (are) much more than just sexual. This as a little background.

My husband has been with his current girlfriend for about 7 months now. I've known about her from the beginning, she's been and stayed at our house (when I was away), they went on trips together. But. I only met her in person for the first time this weekend.

It was hard for me. I had not had a lot of jealousy issues lately, but meeting her brought back a whirlwind of insecurity and low self esteem related emotions. I'm glad I met her, and I'll work through these emotions, so that's not the issue here. But what I have been thinking about a lot now, is where this first step will lead us.

I know my husband is eager to introduce her to more parts of his daily life - invite her to events, meet his / our friends, etc. Obviously I had to meet her first, but now that that is out of the way, he feels we can move on. I'm not so sure. I have a really hard time imagining her coming somewhere where a lot of our friends are. We've known most of our friends for a very long time. Every one were close to knows about our situation, but I feel that 'knowing about it' and actually ' knowing her' are very different things.

I guess I would prefer to keep things more separate. I have 2 lovers, they both live in different cities, and although we have a deep and meaningful connection and talk about our lives and the things that go on in it, I have no desire to introduce them into my social life.

So obviously, husband and I have different wishes and preferences here. How do other people in poly relations deal with introducing 'secondary' or other relationships into their regular lives?
__________________
early forties, straight.
the guys: Ren - husband; Curlz - bf of 2 years, Brig - bf of 7 months; Knight - non-sexual bf; MrBrown - it's complicated
Ren's girls: Lou - gf of 2 years, Liz - very new gf

Last edited by Cleo; 03-13-2012 at 04:07 PM. Reason: edited for typo
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