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Old 03-12-2012, 05:51 AM
younglove younglove is offline
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: west coast
Posts: 20
Default Liking a friend - Want to respect them, help?

Hey, it's been about a year since I've come here... A year ago my husband and I accepted and discovered that we believe in polyamorous relationships - and I had some trouble because I fell for someone who ended up struggling with the idea I was married and he couldn't handle the lifestyle I suppose. But that's a whole other story that I wrote about previously.

My husband and I are both 23.. anyway this time I am here because I have recently met someone I like a lot. He's smart, funny, inspiring, and outgoing. My husband really likes him (friendly) and he thinks he's a good guy.

This is all nice and dandy. The part I need help with is that I know I like him and we've been spending a lot of time together - but he has a long distance relationship. Nothing has or ever will happen between us that would jeopardize that relationship in terms of cheating or anything as I am firmly against such things.

The trouble is, I feel at odds - like I in some ways want to tell him about my lifestyle to help perhaps explain why a married woman is spending so much time with him - but I don't want to be selfish or like come out with this news because perhaps it could influence his relationship.

Background on that is that he only dated her one month before she went back to japan (she's Japanese) and since have dated an additional 2 months via skype. Uh, this last week we saw each other like 5 days and yesterday he remembered he needed to check in with her at some time, saying he hadn't talked to her all week..

so bottom line is: is it appropriate to tell him? Should I have already told him? Is there even a point to telling him assuming I am just friends (and only trying to be just friends) at this point? I really want to respect the situation as much as is possible.
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