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Old 03-09-2012, 12:35 PM
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Anneintherain Anneintherain is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SoCalDoc View Post
Wow, this is the real deal. Your wife is off, far away, getting f****d by some other guy, gazing into his eyes, moaning w pleasure, maybe falling in love w him. That's polyamory. Sorry to be blunt, but hey, that's what you signed up for. Embrace it. There's no going back. Are you sure you want this? If so, be strong. There are meaningful perks.
Although you may be technically accurate, it really rubs me the wrong way when people say stuff like this. If you sit around thinking "my partner is off getting fucked by somebody" it seems like a set up to feel bad about it - and this isn't the first time I've seen an OP pretty much say "OK, my wife is off having sex, I'm dealing with it well enough" and somebody comes and says "your wife is off fucking this dude" (and that's ALWAYS said by a guy in my experience) It just doesn't seem like there's a nice purpose to that. I mean geesh, when somebody is working hard and dealing pretty well with a new poly experience, why start trying to put crappy images in his head about how there must be this moaning hot fuckfest going on? Maybe there's awkward laughter and condom related performance issues. Maybe the sex is nice but she's missing that delicious connection she has with her husband because he knows how to touch her just right. Maybe most of the time is spent trying to figure out where to go for lunch.

Regardless, I'm feeling snarky because I feel like when people say stuff like that, they are probably having anger & insecurity issues in their own relationship, instead of feeling loved and supportive of their own stuff. Just feel like there's no need to try to try to rain on someone's parade just for the hell of it, as I didn't see anything in this thread that required a reality check of that nature. Perhaps I'm out of line, and it's cause it's 4 am, but I can't resist posting anyway
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anxiety, first time, marriage, mono to poly, new to poly, opening up a marriage, ownership, stress, vee

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