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  #11  
Old 03-08-2012, 05:34 AM
KyleKat KyleKat is offline
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Took a nap, went and had fun, talked to my wife a little but not much. Everything still going well but going to bed alone is definitely the hardest. I can't wait for this week to be over. I miss cuddling Otherwise, I'm doing remarkably better than I expected to be at this point. I asked her if they had done anything and actually found myself feeling a little disappointed because they hadn't done as much as I had anticipated. That was a weird feeling for sure.

I should probably have made this a blog post. Oh well.
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Kyle: 27 year old male
Katie (rymmare): 25 year old female
Kids: girl: 5 years old, boy: 3 years old
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  #12  
Old 03-08-2012, 09:23 AM
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Somegeezer Somegeezer is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I would suggest being careful about not getting overly tired or spending too much time loaded... I have found that keeping a clear head is the best way to get through tough situations where ones compersion is in jeopardy. Being tired can make everything over dramatized and make me lose my mind over stuff that I wouldn't normally worry about.
+1 to that. It's when I'm at my worst too, when I'm tired. There's a lot of science in the phrase "sleep on it". Because you'll wake up with a clear mind and be able to put your thoughts into something a lot easier.

When you are tired, it is your logical brain that gets the hit first. Leaving your emotional mind to do all the thinking. and when your emotions are in control, you can often make stupid mistakes before you even see them.
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  #13  
Old 03-08-2012, 06:46 PM
ThatGirlInGray ThatGirlInGray is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KyleKat View Post
going to bed alone is definitely the hardest. ...I miss cuddling
Totally agree with this! Good luck getting through the next...5 days?
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  #14  
Old 03-08-2012, 08:08 PM
KyleKat KyleKat is offline
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Yeah. I tried to get her to not go for so long for that reason and more but in the end money plus her point of not getting to see him very often made me relent. Thank God its already Thursday.
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"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is the regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." - Sydney Smith

Kyle: 27 year old male
Katie (rymmare): 25 year old female
Kids: girl: 5 years old, boy: 3 years old
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  #15  
Old 03-08-2012, 11:07 PM
ThatGirlInGray ThatGirlInGray is offline
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*nods* With how much the flight costs, you feel like you have to make the visit worth the time and money. Every trip I've ever taken out of state to see someone I had a relationship with has been at least 4 days, and up to 9, I think. When my partner visits me and my husband he stays with us for 10 days. I'll try to get hubby over to this thread after work today in case he has any insightful comments or advice, having been in a similar position to you!
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  #16  
Old 03-08-2012, 11:50 PM
Pretzels Pretzels is offline
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Kyle...

I live in the city during the week for work (the commute would drive me insane) and then go home to the guys on the weekends. I've never been a big one for bars or staying out ridiculously late, so I take the time alone during the week to do the things I know the guys aren't huge fans of.

Emotionally, though, it can really suck. We're a MMF triad where there is some level of physical contact between each of us. Do I like sleeping alone most every night? No. But, the nights I can't be with T or E, I know they're at home probably talking in bed until they fall asleep at home. Focus on the good your being selfless for your wife is doing for her if you can.
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  #17  
Old 03-09-2012, 03:55 AM
SoCalDoc SoCalDoc is offline
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Wow, this is the real deal. Your wife is off, far away, getting f****d by some other guy, gazing into his eyes, moaning w pleasure, maybe falling in love w him. That's polyamory. Sorry to be blunt, but hey, that's what you signed up for. Embrace it. There's no going back. Are you sure you want this? If so, be strong. There are meaningful perks.
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  #18  
Old 03-09-2012, 05:19 AM
Monochrome Monochrome is offline
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You feel how you feel. When Gray has gone off to visit, I worry over her travelling alone, but I have known the people she was visiting quite well myself, and trusted her judgement of them, so I never really worried about her safety with them or what she was doing with them. It sounds like you are in much the same situation, so doesn't seem at all odd to me.
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  #19  
Old 03-09-2012, 06:11 AM
KyleKat KyleKat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ThatGirlInGray View Post
*nods* With how much the flight costs, you feel like you have to make the visit worth the time and money. Every trip I've ever taken out of state to see someone I had a relationship with has been at least 4 days, and up to 9, I think. When my partner visits me and my husband he stays with us for 10 days. I'll try to get hubby over to this thread after work today in case he has any insightful comments or advice, having been in a similar position to you!
Yeah we got a pretty good round trip deal but it still was expensive enough that we didn't think it made sense for her to only go for a couple days. Although she's only been out there two days and I already feeling the pressure of going home to an empty, quiet house. It's not unbearable yet but I made the joke to her today that by monday I was going to be a broken man, lol.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pretzels View Post
Kyle...

I live in the city during the week for work (the commute would drive me insane) and then go home to the guys on the weekends. I've never been a big one for bars or staying out ridiculously late, so I take the time alone during the week to do the things I know the guys aren't huge fans of.

Emotionally, though, it can really suck. We're a MMF triad where there is some level of physical contact between each of us. Do I like sleeping alone most every night? No. But, the nights I can't be with T or E, I know they're at home probably talking in bed until they fall asleep at home. Focus on the good your being selfless for your wife is doing for her if you can.
I've gone gambling twice since she's been gone. She doesn't dislike it but the closest casino is an hour away and she doesnt want me tossing money away so I am taking this opportunity to go as much as possible. Tonight I actually asked a girl over. She's someone I know from work but I don't work directly with her and the place I work is huge so it's not like it would ever get super awkward. Anyway I told this girl about everything and she made it abundantly clear she is asexual. She's 27 and has never had a boyfriend and has no interest in romance. Crap. Oh well. She's still cool. We played super mario bros wii for several hours and some Mario party 8. It was fun times. I'm also going to a concert on Saturday. Overall katie has no problem with any of this but leaving her at home with the kids all the time gets old so I come home to help her out as much as I can.

I've committed to not texting her unless she texts me first or it's an emergency. Minus when I freaked out because I wasn't sure if she was safe I have kept to that. I'm proud of myself for not hugging the shit out of her.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SoCalDoc View Post
Wow, this is the real deal. Your wife is off, far away, getting f****d by some other guy, gazing into his eyes, moaning w pleasure, maybe falling in love w him. That's polyamory. Sorry to be blunt, but hey, that's what you signed up for. Embrace it. There's no going back. Are you sure you want this? If so, be strong. There are meaningful perks.
Not sure what the point of being so crude was. I feel like I need to defend my wife here. She's not some slut. It's not like the second the plane touched the ground she was naked and going to town on this guy. I'd appreciate it if you didn't talk about my wife like that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Monochrome View Post
You feel how you feel. When Gray has gone off to visit, I worry over her travelling alone, but I have known the people she was visiting quite well myself, and trusted her judgement of them, so I never really worried about her safety with them or what she was doing with them. It sounds like you are in much the same situation, so doesn't seem at all odd to me.
thanks for coming and sharing your experiences. This is the first serious anything for us so it's hard. Do you remember the first time grey went away? I assume you guys didn't jump into it head first like we did. I wish the ordeal were reversed, really. I think I would have been more alright with them having sex somewhere nearby so I could talk to her after it happened. Not that they have had sex yet but as it stands I barely am hearing from her as is. We talked for a little bit earlier today but I miss talking to my best friend about work, or calling her on my way home. Or any of that. Just the amount of silence is unnatural to me.

Thanks again for responding, everyone.
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"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is the regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." - Sydney Smith

Kyle: 27 year old male
Katie (rymmare): 25 year old female
Kids: girl: 5 years old, boy: 3 years old
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  #20  
Old 03-09-2012, 07:16 AM
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Phy Phy is offline
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When I went to visit Lin for the second time, all of us knew that there would be sex involved. Sward and I (and Lin) talked every day via internet for some minutes up to an hour or two and stayed connected through that. Of course it was a weird situation and it was kind of nerve wrecking to experience talking to the man you have been exclusively with for nearly a decade right after sleeping with another man, but it helped Sward to feel calm about it and stay in the loop in a way.

As a matter of fact, I still not feel comfortable sharing too much information about intimate things with the respective other, in our case this won't change that fast if ever. So I would say that if your wife is the same, it was good that you didn't assail her with questions right after that happened

Best wishes for the two (three) of you.
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