Want more than a Swinger but not sure I'm poly either...

[SourGirl]

This was the best definition I ever read, to describe 'Lover-Friends'. Not written by me, and totally stolen from Fetlife. I think it is worth repeating.


' I identify as an Ethical Slut: Friendsexual Class. I myself cherish my Friends in ways society tells us we're not supposed to. I call any Friend of mine I'm able to have sex with my 'Lover-friend.' These individuals can rely upon me for any need they may have, yet retain the freedom to do whatever they want to. The boundaries, while there, are more broad then those of existing relationship structures. It's casual in that sense of the word, yet I don't believe in NSA as the act of sex itself is a "string". Instead, I value each "string" for its own individual length and color. '

I`ve also called it : 'Love-NSA'


The above does not mean I find casual sex of no value.
I can totally see a place for it, and do not find myself afraid of it.

[nycindie]

Okay, that's funny. I already had, I suppose, a kind of visceral understanding of the term when you first shared it with me, but that quote you just posted only confuses me. Well, I mean, I understand the words but it doesn't make sense to me, for some reason. The language used doesn't coincide with the feeling I have when I just think of the term "lover-friend."

[SourGirl]

Originally Posted by nycindie

Okay, that's funny. I already had, I suppose, a kind of visceral understanding of the term when you first shared it with me, but that quote you just posted only confuses me. Well, I mean, I understand the words but it doesn't make sense to me, for some reason. The language used doesn't coincide with the feeling I have when I just think of the term "lover-friend."

You made it your own, nothing wrong with that.

[Kemie]

Well, I'm polyamorous and I also swing with my primary boyfriend.

I find that my absolute favorite situation is when we swing with a couple and then end up becoming good friends and develop a more intimate relationship with them, so we see them many more times. Sort of like two couples dating each other. I'm not sure if that situation would work for you, but it seems you may be able to enjoy the closer intimacy while your husband can rationalize it as a friendship. Best of luck!