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Old 03-05-2012, 04:52 PM
Bless Bless is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 1
Default Getting burnt out on a lover

I'm dating two wonderful men, Steve and Jack. Steve and I have been together almost 4 years, and we've been long-distance from the start. Jack and I have been together over 3 years, local all that time, and we moved in together about 2 years ago.

About 5 months ago, Steve had a big career decision to make, and with my encouragement he ultimately chose to take a lower paying job in my city rather than a higher paying job even further away than he already was. He and I were both thrilled that we'd finally be local to each other! He now lives a few minutes away from Jack and I, and we are able to hang out all the time.

Well. Turns out that I get burned out on Steve's company kind of quick. This was a shock to me, because I've never experienced getting burned out on a lover before. Jack and I spend loads of time together and it works great. And for the first 2 weeks after Steve moved here, I couldn't get enough of him. But now it seems that only a relatively small amount of time with him each week is enough for me. I can't really handle more than that. It's not caused by conflict or anything, it's just... a feeling of burn-out, of needing space from him.

I feel so guilty for encouraging him to move here, only now to find out that maybe our relationship is better suited to being long-distance. It is not that I love him less, but I do want less time with him. The worst part is that I haven't talked to him about this yet. I know I should be honest about my feelings, but I cringe at the thought of telling him, "I just get tired of you quickly, dear."
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multiple primaries, time management

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