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  #41  
Old 11-23-2009, 03:59 PM
lola lola is offline
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Question Limerence Vs NRE

Given the conversation around the word "limerence" that is new to me, I figured I should educate myself on the term and how it applies.

From my reading, limerence would exist before a relationship is established, while NRE would exist once the situation moves into a relationship, that being the two people are involved, not just the one.

How does this jive with others' interpretations? Limerence is sort of a solo sport? While NRE requires another player?
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  #42  
Old 11-23-2009, 04:11 PM
Ceoli Ceoli is offline
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That's pretty close! I see limerance as a description of the feelings inside one's self when one is crushing on someone else. While it is about an individual's feelings it doesn't always have to be experienced without a relationship. Limerance can exist with or without an actual relationship between the person and the object of the crush. I think it can sometimes be a source of fuel for NRE. But NRE itself does require another person to be in a relationship with, while limerance is really about the feelings inside the individual.
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  #43  
Old 11-23-2009, 04:17 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Default maybe academic

Hi Lola,

My personal feelings are that a discussion like this might be largely academic and although it would be beneficial for those so inclined - maybe everyone to a degree - we might ask "What's the REAL importance of the underlying issue?"
Although familiar with the term from years back I have personally drifted to using the term "infatuation" in these type of discussions. I think it's a term that's more widely used and understood and it technically bridges both the others (I feel).
If you think about it - the root of the discussion when this usually appears is around the difference between the early feelings of connection vs the feelings that have.......settled in (?) after a relationship has matured to some degree.
Those feelings are often very different (like anything that's matured- wine or people). The time period this takes is subject to wide variability and subject to a wide range of factors.
And to me - that's where the "meat" of the discussion and learning lie - maybe rather the the technical definition of terminology.

Make any sense ?
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  #44  
Old 11-23-2009, 08:07 PM
lola lola is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ceoli View Post
That's pretty close! I see limerance as a description of the feelings inside one's self when one is crushing on someone else. While it is about an individual's feelings it doesn't always have to be experienced without a relationship. Limerance can exist with or without an actual relationship between the person and the object of the crush. I think it can sometimes be a source of fuel for NRE. But NRE itself does require another person to be in a relationship with, while limerance is really about the feelings inside the individual.
Thanks, Ceoli. And thanks for the spelling. I did the search and it wanted to use the e rather than the a.
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  #45  
Old 11-23-2009, 08:11 PM
lola lola is offline
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Hi Lola,

And to me - that's where the "meat" of the discussion and learning lie - maybe rather the the technical definition of terminology.

Make any sense ?
Yes it does, thank you. I would hate to get lost in semantics. If understanding can take place without specific words, I'm right there with you. But I guess since everyone communicates differently, I am just looking to find more ways to do so with more people. But, I'll bet the next time I have this very conversation, I'll forget the word limerance and not know what to say. haha

Too bad we can't just have that flash of understanding with everyone and not have to wade thru all the personal "stuff" that sometimes gets in the way.

For me, since this is all still quite new, I see SOOOO many communication styles. Personalities surely play a part, some people are more analytical and others more emotional. If I can understand someone's style, I can usually find the way to say what I want to say in a way they can understand it. Boy this is hard work.
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  #46  
Old 01-14-2010, 10:41 PM
Aaronp Aaronp is offline
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Default Nre

I've noticed something interesting about my own thought patterns, I was just wondering how common this is.

I already know that I can be attracted to multiple people, both romantically and sexually, but I CANNOT have NRE for two people at once.

It doesn't make sense to me, but if I meet two girls in a short period of time, the NRE I felt for the first one will always disappear as soon as I meet the second one (who I will then be crazy about, even when I still like the first one very much).

This has happened a number of times now, and I wonder if anyone has similar experiences?
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  #47  
Old 01-14-2010, 11:17 PM
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crisare crisare is offline
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I find that NRE comes and goes depending on who I'm with and who I'm talking to at the time. Right now I'm heavy in the throes of it with my new long-distance guy, but there's another guy at my office who has been kind of dancing around with me a little bit (and we're not even going to talk about office romances right now) ... and just depending on where I am and who I'm talking to, I can get giddy over either of them.

It is kind of an interesting thing, though, isn't it?
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  #48  
Old 01-15-2010, 12:01 AM
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Wow, interesting thought. I seem to have NRE for Mono all the time, even after a year, whereas my husband, Nerdist, I have NRE over when I have spent a good long time away from him and we actually get quality time together talking and enjoying an activity together. Most of our life is the daily runnings stuff of looking after a child, house, car, finances, job... not much NRE in that, but I welcome our moments of it when I rediscover him after a long period of just being together. With Mono my NRE comes from our relationship being about just being together. I get NRE when I am about to see him to do something special. I also have NRE with both of them together at this point as I feel most happy when we are all together. I feel like I am home and have NRE over that feeling. I don't know if it's NRE over the situation or them as an entity together...? good question for me to answer there I think. I tend to really feel safe and warm when they are together as if they are a unit. Much as I would over our couple friends. Those kinds of friends that I can't imagine spending time with apart as their energy is that of a team... does that make sense? I have NRE over the "team" of Mono and Nerdist somehow...
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  #49  
Old 01-15-2010, 12:16 AM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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I have NRE over the "team" of Mono and Nerdist somehow...

I'm kinda like Robin to his Batman

NRE has a different meaning for me, Lilo - Never Resting Excitement! You drive me crazy!
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  #50  
Old 01-15-2010, 12:28 AM
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CielDuMatin CielDuMatin is offline
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I'm kinda like Robin to his Batman
Don't the tights make your legs itch?
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