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  #41  
Old 03-01-2012, 09:29 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jericka View Post
For what it is worth, I have a Secondary's perspective on the situation....

Is the girlfriend paying any attention to how this guy is treating his wife? Because, really, if I saw a guy that I was dating neglecting his wife and newborn? I'd be gone so fast!

NRE or not, I'm perfectly capable of seeing that how he's treating his wife is how I would be treated once the NRE wears off. I wouldn't touch a guy who was neglecting his responsibilities at home with a ten foot pole. EWWWWW!
This is a very good point. I intend to apply this to my dating life I think. It makes complete sense to see that if a person is not able to take care of his responsibilities at home he likely won't be able and willing to do so in my relationship with him.
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  #42  
Old 03-01-2012, 11:42 PM
Jericka Jericka is offline
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He doesn't want to tell his sister, but, wants her to meet the girlfriend? Do I have that correct? Because that....seems contradictory....

I don't know the situation on the ground well enough to say tell people or don't tell. Of the two of you, he may face more immediate fallout because of the new baby and the girlfriend. Long term, I don't know how it would help or hurt you or the situation as a whole.
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  #43  
Old 03-02-2012, 02:41 PM
bookbug bookbug is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jericka View Post
For what it is worth, I have a Secondary's perspective on the situation....

Is the girlfriend paying any attention to how this guy is treating his wife? Because, really, if I saw a guy that I was dating neglecting his wife and newborn? I'd be gone so fast!

NRE or not, I'm perfectly capable of seeing that how he's treating his wife is how I would be treated once the NRE wears off. I wouldn't touch a guy who was neglecting his responsibilities at home with a ten foot pole. EWWWWW!
I absolutely agree with this statement!!!! I entered a triadic situation with a couple that ultimately didn't work out. My guy put his wife and children first when we finally realized she ultimately would not be able to cope. While the situation made me very sad, he would not have been the person I love if he'd made any other choice.
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  #44  
Old 03-02-2012, 02:46 PM
bookbug bookbug is offline
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Originally Posted by Red0824 View Post
I agree with you jericka, I feel like the gf should be seeing how ridiculous he is being. I talked to he yesterday, I probably shouldn't have but I wanted to get her take on this. All she said was she still wanted to be friends with me and support both of us during this thought time. It's so hard for me to trust her, mainly because of the maturity level she is displaying as well, grante she is only 20, but she should be telling him to he his ass home to his baby and wife and try and fix the situation.
I see part of the problem. The gf is so young. She really doesn't have the experience to understand all the complications of this situation. And at that age, I imagine she is so swept up with his attention that it's carrying her away. It's unfortunate that she met your immature husband as her early introduction into polyamory.

Hugs to you! I'm glad you're out of the house away from him. I understand that you love him, but really the kindest thing I can say is he is immature, but really, I'm thinking selfish, insensitive asshole.
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abandonment, cheating, divorce, secondaries, secondary

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