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  #31  
Old 12-23-2011, 10:32 AM
blitzbaby3 blitzbaby3 is offline
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So our relationship got very strained. We didn't talk a few weeks.
These next few weeks were the most amazing ones I'd had in such a long time. T and I hung out constantly. We clicked so well. We discussed personal things. I spilled a lot of myself into him. We developed to the point where I'd stay all night with him, and him with me.
I was smitten.
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  #32  
Old 12-23-2011, 10:35 AM
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B was very verbally harsh during this time. Being very pissed at me for continuing my things with T. I told her I was sorry. She left him though. Alone and hurt. She LEFT.

They weren't technically together.... So she had no claims.

She called me a whore. I was very frustrated and pissed. So I asked how I could be the whore when she was doing the same morally. Being with another person. That's emotionally cheating. We argued.
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  #33  
Old 12-23-2011, 11:05 AM
blitzbaby3 blitzbaby3 is offline
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My sister stepped in.... which is a flipping annoyance.

I bitched her out for it. Apologized to B. I guess that's when we started talking and becoming friends.

T and I started saying we loved the other.


Oh man. I had planned to write so much. But I'm so tired... I'll sleep then write more.
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  #34  
Old 12-26-2011, 02:23 AM
blitzbaby3 blitzbaby3 is offline
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Well Merry Christmas

So I guess everything is pretty much summed up. I'm forgetting more each day. Which sucks. But I'm forgetting negatives. So I'm happy with it.

Today was amazing. I stayed with T through the night. We woke up. He got me coffee in bed and I gave him presents. Wuthering Heights, The Hush Sound's Goodbye Blues, and the Jurassic Park Trilogy... I already gave him his presents a few weeks ago when he had asked for his things back. I wanted to make sure he got some from me today though so I got a few more. He already gave me all mine. Oh, I got him a nice pillow w/ pillowcase. I gave that to him last night because he said, "I wish I had more pillows". So I was very giggly and ran out of bed and made him come open it. It was in my nephew's left over My First Kitchen box XP

I owed him a pillow because one night he stayed and left his things when he went to work. I was living with dad then. Me being me, I forgot it and left it out. So our dog, Buddy, ate it... Well ripped a corner in it.

So we got up and showered. He played Skyrim (AMAZING, so much so I had to buy it) while I got ready.

We went to dad's for our immediate family Christmas. K-Jo/or just Jo* (nephew, 2 yrs.) opened his presents from Papa (my dad) and Nana (my stepmom). My sister MJ and I opened our few presents (dad gave us cash mainly because we didn't give him a list of what we wanted). G. (my stepbrother) was there, which is surprising after him and my stepmom got into a bad fight :s Jo asked where T was when we weren't talking the couple weeks we weren't. Jo loves T. He was excited by his new play kitchen from papa and nana. I bought him play food and he tried eating it HA HA HA. So cute.
*I won't use their real names

Then T took me to my step-aunt's. We stayed just a few minutes. We found out it was going to take longer than I had originally thought to play games and eat food. We still had to see T's dad. We left.

I MET HIS DAD!!!! Finally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! B kept T from having me meet them.

I was so nervous I had a cigarette. I was shaking which no one noticed, thank goodness for. I was holding a wine glass with one hand, but I then decided after it was sloshing a little because I was shaking that two hands were better. T's step mom kept offering me wine. I don't think they know my age. I didn't decline the wine, it being a holiday. It's wine, I don't drink it to get drunk.

Okay well I think I'm going to go into depth. T and I drove from my dad's to his dad's which is about 15 miles away in mainly silence. I don't mind this. With him even silence is beautiful. Which I usually hate silence so I know something is right here? Well it wasn't silent, we always listen to music, being music and cinephiles. We were sick of Christmas music. I skipped through the channels. I have music A.D.H.D. and can't stick to something. Plus they play some not so good songs xp
We were almost out of town. We always hold hands. T asks me, "Baby can I have a cigarette? I didn't smoke at all since yesterday". I told him yes if I could have one. I was nervous, I think he was too? Either that or he was stressed my family was upset for leaving so soon. He smokes Camel Crushes. I am not a smoker. I had one pack last week though I won't deny. Well I bought it two weeks ago and finished last week. It took over a week and a half to finish. He is a smoker. He started three years ago. I hated smoking with a passion before him. He didn't smoke ever around me when I told him that. Then I told him it was okay if he had wanted to. So we smoked in silence. Except for my occasional giggle, being a non-smoker I still get bad head rushes.

We pulled up and he asked me if I wanted a chocolate. I did to help cover up the smoke on my breath because we didn't have gum. He opened chocolate my stepmom had given us. It was Hershey kisses He struggled to open the thin ribbon so I did it, by cheating with my teeth. He opened his by just cheating and pulling the ribbon up and over the top . We got out of his car and walked up to the door. It is a nice house. Very large. Decorated well. I walked behind T being afraid. The door was basically all glass and it was surrounded by large windows. I could see the largest tree I'd ever seen in the window on the left. He knocked and his father opened it. His sister was standing near. She is just a year older or younger. She is going to college an hour away so she's not home much.

We walked in and I took off my work boots, being the only shoes I had. Well I had leaned down to start untying them when T introduced his father. I hopped up quick and said, "My name is Marinia" after finding out his name. But T had already said my name so I apologized and giggled. I think they figured out I was nervous. T introduced his sister. I took off my shoes. His sister and him look like they can be twins. They look so similar! She's very pretty. His father is striking as well. I had only seen one photo of him T pulled out when he showed me pictures of himself. It was a family portrait from when they were still one family, his mother and father. His father had black hair in it. Now he has gray hair.
His father took my coat for me. I set down my purse with my shoes. We were standing there as they said how good it was for him to come. He doesn't visit much, which he should. We were standing there when his stepmom came up from the basement. T handed them their gift, a bottle of wine. Moscato...YUM
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Last edited by blitzbaby3; 12-26-2011 at 02:35 AM. Reason: Added detail, fixed error
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  #35  
Old 12-26-2011, 05:26 AM
blitzbaby3 blitzbaby3 is offline
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She offered some to us.

Well I was writing it all. Then my fucking computer froze... so yeah. Well I'm kinda pissed and don't even want to write what I had already written...

Anyways it was great. And then we came back to my step aunts and played a great game called The Game of Things. It's funny. It's definitely an adult game. It's addictive.
Well my computer needs to restart now. Fucking hell.
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  #36  
Old 01-03-2012, 02:44 PM
blitzbaby3 blitzbaby3 is offline
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So everything is going better.

L and I still don't talk.
My friends who were away at college are back, well two just left again. We've been hanging out.
I haven't had much alone time. Which explains the long gaps and confusing posts. My sister also gave me a journal for Christmas. I've already written around 25-30 pages!!! oops. I guess I have alot more to say than I ever imagined.

Well. T and I are together, if you haven't already gathered. I shut out B after some intense problems. Since cutting her out, my life isn't so stressful. Which sounds horrible. But it's the truth. I need to be more open. More so than I am.

I stayed at T's for Christmas. Then I did this past weekend for New Year's. We drank wine and celebrated.

I came over for New Year's Eve and stayed. He took me back the next day. Then that night I hung with my two friends from college. They are a couple. And completely . . . AWWWW! They are so perfect for each other really. I wish them the best. They deserve the other. They are even a 'long distance' couple. Long distance being only a few hours away. But they see each other not as much as they were used to for the summer. God. I just can't believe it's 2012...
All the things that happened last year. It feels impossibly close and far.....

Oops. Anyways, back to mah storeee.
So then I hung out with them once I got back to town. It was getting late and they were feeling lazy so they just asked me to stay. I stayed on the couch and watched movies all night. I wanted to keep in my work schedule. They stayed on the other couch and slept. It was a good night. I watched Micmacs. AWESOME FRENCH FILM.

Well then the next day which would be.... yesterday. T texted me on his lunch. I asked him for a ride back to my dad's. I went there with him. He hung out for the rest of his lunch. He asked me to stay again. So alas I stayed at his house again last night. Does he miss me?

That's two nights out of the last three that I've stayed... I haven't stayed with my dad in quite awhile now. ^.^

I caught him watching me brush my hair the other day after I was out of the shower. I was brushing and I like to sneak peeks at him. The mirror is on the wall opposite the one his bed is against. He was lying on his bed. I was brushing in the mirror. I turned to look, thinking he'd be looking at the tv because he was on his xbox. I caught him just watching me. . . . XP ^.^
I felt so good knowing he was watching me do something mundane. That he liked to look at me. I felt pretty.
He giggled. He was trying to be sly.
GAH my heart is gushing.
Well I stayed last night. And I'm actually on his computer writing this right now. I'm staying here during the day while he's off at work. I like being here. Without him I do feel a little alone though. I'm here alone.
I think this means he trusts me alot? Ha ha ha.

Oh shit. Just realized today is Tuesday... I work tonight. Well I'll write more later. I always say this and don't. . . I'm going to crawl back into his cozy bed.

Shit. I don't want to work.
1. One of my managers will be pissed at me so I need to avoid her at all costs*
2. It's work
3. I need another job - money and sanity sake. My hours are getting cut now that the holidays are done. My coworkers are fucking driving me up a wall.
*I called in sick for New Year's Eve. I'm never scheduled Saturdays. The schedule was messed up so I had to ask her to fix it. I had made plans already for that night. Well they pinned me there. I asked a coworker, WHO HAD NO PLANS, to switch shifts. He said no... Which is his right yes. But he is... the worst coworker ever. He disappears for a half an hour at a time to wherever it is he goes. He takes his time, which is not good, considering we have alot to do in a short period of time. He is constantly yelled at by management. The only reason he won't get fired is because he is a day manager's son.............................. fucking nepotism. Don't tell me it doesn't happen.
Well so he just pissed me off. Considering if he would have done it he would have gotten extra pay and because I took his shift from another day, he'd have three days off in a row.......... . . . . . . . . . . It's not like he even needs the money. Frustration. He just irks me.

Well it's almost 9. I should sleep. My toes are currently popsicles.

I think I'll read before sleeping
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  #37  
Old 01-20-2012, 06:19 AM
blitzbaby3 blitzbaby3 is offline
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Okay polyamory.com
I'm not sure if I'll continue this?
maybe random blobs of things here and there.
T and I are still getting along so well. I stay with him constantly. He's been staying with me too.
He's asked me if I'd like to live with him. I would. We're planning on it.
i'm so proud of him.
He's proven himself to me recently that he has changed and is honest.
I know I can be happy with him.
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  #38  
Old 01-20-2012, 06:35 AM
blitzbaby3 blitzbaby3 is offline
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I think I'll start a new blog. This one just is... dead?
Maybe that's why I don't want to do it much anymore?
I'm happier now so I think I want this
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  #39  
Old 01-20-2012, 06:57 AM
blitzbaby3 blitzbaby3 is offline
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Am I able to get rid of this old thread? I'm pretty blog incompetent :P
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  #40  
Old 03-01-2012, 10:08 PM
blitzbaby3 blitzbaby3 is offline
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Welp... I have strained things again... I did terrible things. I cheated - and was honest, the honesty is a first for my infidelities. I had relations with someone I SHOULD ABSOLUTELY NOT HAVE. I started a journal on my sexual misadventures. I realized I have an issue. So I looked up self help sites. Yours truly is going to a sex addicts anonymous meeting. I need it. I want to say, and yet am afraid?
I had relations with someone I should not. There are several issues with this sexual encounter. I know it's wrong. I can sit here while writing and honestly be so confident in saying I know it's wrong. I do. But when these situations arise, I do not control myself. I KNOW IT'S WRONG. Yet I do it. I have no control. People may think this is an excuse. But do normal people have relations with someone almost 25 years their senior, who is in an authoritative position, and has a wife and family? Nope. Yep. So at least I'm admitting things. I am admitting I'm wrong. That I have no control. I do not trust this site enough to say for sure what happened - although I desperately want to to reach out. I do not trust someone.... Brandi. And if the man I had relations with is found out, there would be big consequences.
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