Newbie needing advice ASAP....

[Pretzels]

Originally Posted by Megziebaby216

Thank you all! I am going to hold a family meeting tonight. my husband is already in an attitude because of it...

Classy.

Originally Posted by AutumnalTone

It very much does involve you. Any child he fathers places a legal and financial obligation on him that will affect you quite a bit. It will affect your scheduling and household budget.

And where you live and how much you get out of his paycheck if she decides to leave and sue for child support.

Originally Posted by Anneintherain

And I hate to say it, but when I think about adults who are getting pregnant at 3 months into dating, I think of the people I see on daytime court TV show looking foolish because they made rash decisions and ended up in a mess. I figure if the situation I am in can be on a trashy tv show to titillate the audience, perhaps I'd better slow down and think things through, and what you guys are rushing into seems like it could easily do that.

I think that ship has sailed. I'm going to be blunt here - are you doing this triad just to show the world? If so, that might not be the healthiest reason.

Also, what is it with some of the newly disclosed MFFs on here sounding more like the building blocks of cults?

Good luck with your family meeting. Here's hoping the three of you sitting down gets a much-needed conversation started before anything adverse happens.

[Arrowbound]

Certain things about this situation bothers me on many levels but I'll wait until you come back with the results of the family meeting. I hope everything goes well.

[Megziebaby216]

Originally Posted by Arrowbound

Certain things about this situation bothers me on many levels but I'll wait until you come back with the results of the family meeting. I hope everything goes well.

I am back. Everything is as it was again. Once I sat down and explained myself, my husband realized that I didn't want to dictate the situation, but just be involved as a family he settled down and apologized.

He explained the reason he wants to have a baby so badly right now is he wants to have a bond with our girlfriend because he feels threatened that she and I have such a tight knit connection and get to spend more time together.

So after we all sat down we realized that we each felt threatened by something and opened up lines of communication.

My husband and I went out on a nice "wipe slate clean" kind of date and had an amazing time. I was so relaxed and felt that "relationship high" My girlffriend and I also had a nice afternoon the next day. had a cuddling movie day.

Together we decided to bring up the baby topic in the summer and see where we stand then, and then look at next winter as a possibility.

Thank you all for your input! I appreciete any tips or advice

[Anneintherain]

That's great to hear, and I'm glad that you were all able to realize bringing a human life into the world because your gf was jealous of the bond between two people in a long term relationship was not a fix.

I hope things continue to go well and you keep communicating. I am often surprised at how easily communication can come to a halt - once one person does NOT say something that bothers them, before you know it you can find yourself in a situation where there's a problem again, so just make sure you check in with yourself regularly and that you aren't keeping quiet when you should be speaking up!

[nycindie]

Originally Posted by Megziebaby216

He explained the reason he wants to have a baby so badly right now is he wants to have a bond with our girlfriend because he feels threatened that she and I have such a tight knit connection and get to spend more time together.

Wow, that's some logic! "I want to feel closer to you because I envy what you have with my wife, so let's create a human being we'll be responsible for over the next 18 years. Yeah, that'll make me feel better!" So glad that you asked for a family meeting and spoke up for yourself.

Originally Posted by Megziebaby216

So after we all sat down we realized that we each felt threatened by something and opened up lines of communication.

My husband and I went out on a nice "wipe slate clean" kind of date and had an amazing time. I was so relaxed and felt that "relationship high" My girlffriend and I also had a nice afternoon the next day. had a cuddling movie day.

Good, good, good. Glad you got everything out in the open and started over fresh. Communication and forgiveness do wonders.

Originally Posted by Megziebaby216

Together we decided to bring up the baby topic in the summer and see where we stand then, and then look at next winter as a possibility.

That's definitely a better plan of action. You'll all have known each other better by then. Meantime, I would say, everyone should just make sure protection is used diligently.

Keep us posted.

[SNeacail]

Originally Posted by Megziebaby216

He explained the reason he wants to have a baby so badly right now is he wants to have a bond with our girlfriend because he feels threatened that she and I have such a tight knit connection and get to spend more time together.

OK, that makes about as much sense as a couple saying "Our marriage really SUCKS right now, so let have a baby. It will bring us closer together." Yes because hormone overload, aching body, sleep deprivation and complete chaos makes for great warm fuzzy moments. "We need a new microwave, so lets set fire to the house."

[ThatGirlInGray]

Originally Posted by SNeacail

OK, that makes about as much sense as a couple saying "Our marriage really SUCKS right now, so let have a baby. It will bring us closer together." Yes because hormone overload, aching body, sleep deprivation and complete chaos makes for great warm fuzzy moments. "We need a new microwave, so lets set fire to the house."

And yet, SO MANY COUPLES do this!! I agree, it's ridiculous, but it's also VERY common, along with the thought process of, "I want to have a baby so I'll have something to love me." Seriously?? Get a dog.

I'm glad he calmed down and you were all able to figure out ways to resolve the situation!

[redpepper]

Originally Posted by ThatGirlInGray

And yet, SO MANY COUPLES do this!! I agree, it's ridiculous, but it's also VERY common, along with the thought process of, "I want to have a baby so I'll have something to love me." Seriously?? Get a dog.

How about don't get a dog; people do that also and they end up abandoned at pounds. I help with abandoned American dogs that are shipped to Canada because we don't destroy them. Dog rescue groups manage to save a handful that should never of been born to begin with if there weren't a market. Thousands are born and then killed because owners bought them to put bandaids on relationships. How about working the shit out.

[ThatGirlInGray]

True enough. I was thinking more of the single person who lives alone and wants companionship, but yeah, you're right, there's WAY too many irresponsible pet owners out there. I truly don't understand why anyone BUYS a cat or dog at all- are their local pounds empty?? We've always adopted our pets, never purchased.

[redpepper]

Originally Posted by ThatGirlInGray

I was thinking more of the single person who lives alone and wants companionship

ah yes, I see what you mean. Get a pet to keep you company or to be devoted to you entirely. You can own pets, not people. Then again; do people really own cats?