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Old 02-29-2012, 01:28 AM
arianne arianne is offline
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 5
Default Jealousy and little things

Backstory: I've been dating a couple for close to a year now. When we started dating J (him) and D (her) were living together and had been dating for close to 2 years. When we started dating, I had some jealousy issues, especially since I moved to a different city a couple of months after and have only seen them on weekends. I worked through those issues and the last few months have been great.

This past weekend I got horribly jealous again and I haven't said anything but it's been nagging at me. I was hoping for some advice and just needed to vent.

I think the jealousy came from a couple of things. D was tired this weekend and I felt as though she wasn't being as responsive and that sort of got to me even though I know she was tired and doesn't tend to show affection as easily. J also mentioned us moving in together in two or three years and all I could think of was 'that's so far away!' I know that that isn't an unreasonable time frame but I feel very far away sometimes and it makes me jealous that they are sharing a home and a life together. I also realized today that they are now common law partners, and that I couldn't really be that with either of them since you can't have more than one. It's stupid, I know, but it just reinforced the idea that it's the two of them and me. We hang out and sometimes it's clear that they have their own life together.

I know my issues are part and parcel of what we are doing... at least, my brain is supposed to know, but sometimes I feel overwhelmed. It probably doesn't help that I'm going overseas this weekend for a couple of weeks. It's also part of why I haven't said anything (did I mention that I suck at communicating?) as I didn't want this to impede on what we have which, when I'm thinking about it, is pretty good. I like and care for them both very much but sometimes I wonder if that is enough or if I'm going to spend a lot of time being jealous or overthinking things. I also didn't want to sort of drop this and just leave but trying to work through this in my head doesn't seem to be working. Am I just completely overthinking things... or just crazy?
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