I think you just rubbed up against the dichotomy of the stated principle ( no right or wrong way) and the subtle undertone of superiority of how the enlighten few....all 14.... usually "grow " out of all that non progressive culturally prescribed unhealthy type thinking.
Bottom line.... yes it's risky and you're wrong...please start to grow and encourage the men to do the same.
now come join the "right" team so you'll be on board for the big poly win.
hope your marriage makes it through the growth.
and hey if it doesn't it wasn't that strong to begin with ...so you're doin it a favor. Can't kill something that's already dead.. right.
Good luck with your growth journey D