Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner


Thread Tools Display Modes
Prev Previous Post   Next Post Next
Old 02-26-2012, 11:28 PM
MimiPhryxus's Avatar
MimiPhryxus MimiPhryxus is offline
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 10
Unhappy Head over Heels and a lil scared

hello everyone,

I'm a lil new here but wanted to ask a question that involves a new relationship my hubs and I are in.

We have started courting (for lack of a better term) a friend of ours that both of us recently confessed to each other that we've had crushes on her for 4-5 years now.
This girl, I'll just call her Miss F, has had a rollercoaster of difficulties with past relationships including divorce, breaking it off with her fiance, and her last boyfriend pretty much was a jerk and she had to break it off after what I would consider emotional abuse got to be too much.
She understandably has some commitment issues now and isn't a huge fan of things like saying 'I love you' or being pinned down to say she will be with us and no one else.

We've respected her boundries and tried to be understanding since she was still seeing her last boyfriend when the three of us started sleeping together. When she would talk to us about him, we would try and be there and give a little advice but always were careful to say that we don't want to come across as jealous lovers demonizing her partner.

Now its just the three of us and we're discussing moving across the country and living together and what not. BUT...I'm still afraid at time to tell her I'm in love with her or even broaching subjects about commitment because I don't want to make her uncomfortable or scare her off...

Any advice on this? Should I continue like I'm doing now and just showing my love for her with affection and little messages that I'm thinking of her here and there? Should We all three sit down and ask her when would be a good time to start saying things like i love you? Am I over thinking this?
Reply With Quote

commitment, love, triad

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT. The time now is 10:44 AM.