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Old 02-26-2012, 08:00 PM
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NovemberRain NovemberRain is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fidurski369 View Post
- Resources are something that attract women.
I would take that sentence and examine it to death, if I were you. This is not necessarily true. I can see where you made that up, given your stated experiences in Florida. Me, I'm a woman, and I'm seriously attracted to brains and pretty. My life would be considerably different were I attracted to resources.

Perhaps you could switch that around to 'women are attracted to resourceful men' ? Your story about the toothbrush holder sounded very resourceful and sweet. My first Christmas with First BF, he asked what I wanted. 'Shiny silver earrings.' His reply? 'Well duh' He already purchased them ~ he knew this because he observed what I put in my ears. Meant the world to me that he was paying attention. Attention, yah, that's attractive.

I don't quite understand your bit about resources equating to power over.

Quote:
Originally Posted by fidurski369 View Post
- Sometimes I feel like I am more attracted to her than she is to me.
My experience has been that this is often true in any relationship. I have been the one more attracted and the one less attracted. It could be that your limerance is longer than hers. (recommend you look that one, as I'm not proficient at defining it ~ it's a worthwhile concept to learn) But I agree with what others said, especially about hormones.

Quote:
Originally Posted by fidurski369 View Post
- So pretty much every guy who has ever seen a porno is insecure about their penis as far as I can tell.
I haven't a thing to say that hasn't already been said; except to note that I admire your forthrightness and insight in presenting it here.

Quote:
Originally Posted by fidurski369 View Post
- Intelligence is something that comes in all different forms just like anything else.
...
She is smarter than I am on many levels and I love that about her. At the same time I donít know if I challenge her enough mentally.
This is what made me hit reply.
I met First BF at mensa (a club for smart folks). He's brilliant on a level that makes it difficult to talk to people who are not. Current BF always says that the biggest thing that attracts him to me are my brains (actually, my 'big sexy brain-meats').
Recently someone in here posted about the difference in intellectual match with his girlfriend and her OSO. His girlfriend was able to have long, theoretical discussions with the other boyfriend, and he was interested in the more thoughtful, emotional, drawing on practical experience discussions. [I might have the genders mixed up, please forgive me, if you're reading] I related, because I care not for intellectual (theoretical) debate, but I love finding out what makes people tick, why they think or feel the way they do, about anything.

The two great loves of my life (the ones that drove me crazy, and I mean literally chemically unbalanced) were probably not intellectual matches to me. I had no problem with their intelligence, I found them very compatible. It was *them* who had a problem with it. I'm certain it was a huge factor (not the only one) in the demise of those relationships.

Quote:
Originally Posted by fidurski369 View Post
Itís just threatening to me.
What do you find threatening about it? I'm guessing that she'll find someone more challenging and leave?
Now I have to tell you my second grade story. [apologies in advance]
I was intelligence tested for the first time in second grade (used that score to get into mensa). As a result, they moved me into a different class, mid-year (almost unheard of back then. my mom was a pistol.). It was one of the most traumatic things that happened to me as a child. I was in a class where I always had my work done, and the teacher allowed me to help the other kids. Helping is what drives me. It's the thing that fulfills my purpose on earth. I was a big fish in a tiny pond. Then I moved. In my new class, the kids were noisy, unruly, obnoxious, and socially awkward. One kid ate paste. I was overwhelmed. For the rest of my school career, I felt like I couldn't keep up, like I was stupid, and a failure. For the rest of my school career, and I kid you not, every single report card or report home said that I was not working up to my potential (as if that was helpful).

So, what's my point? That sometimes smart people don't want to be challenged. Sometimes they want to be adored, to be worshiped, or to just not talk and be held. I know nothing about your relationship; but she chose you for reasons, good reasons, most likely.

Quote:
Originally Posted by fidurski369 View Post
My life continued and Iím happier than ever. This life is interesting. With more situations than you think, you can make your own rules.
AWESOME!
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Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...
Robert A. Heinlein

Me: female, bi, (formerly hinge of a vee)
with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who lives in the apartment building next door)
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