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  #81  
Old 12-10-2011, 09:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
As far as bathing suits go, miss pixi has a bikini and a one piece suit. Some transpeople do not swim for years because of the what to wear problem. Imagine being a transman who hasnt had top surgery yet and has large breasts! He'd need to bind his breasts under a tshirt. How uncomfortable for swimming!

miss pixi's bikini has a small skirt on the bottom piece. With her one piece, she wears "shapewear" under it so she can still tuck up her package. Some transwomen don't "tuck," if their packages aren't too big. Others don't care, and let the bulge be there. miss pixi is not hugely endowed, but feels more comfortable without the bulge. If Jewell wears board shorts, she will have to decide whether she wants to tuck (using tight shapewear under the shorts), or not.

Good luck to Jewell using the female locker room. miss pixi always uses women's restrooms and has since high school. (She's now 34.) Even though she was living as a male back in jr high and high school, she got permission to use the girls' locker room because of the bullying she'd get in the boys' locker rooms, because she was so effeminate.

Your snowstorm story was so romantic. I love the hot relationship you and Lover have.
Yea, the bathing suit issue is really big. I remember when Jewell was at his parents country club pool. Yikes! She had to go and as a guy. I wasn't there to take the kids. Her parents really wanted her to go. She was transitioned enough that she had pretty nice sized breasts and was just sliding into being more female than male. Talk about tricky. She got by with wearing a big baggy shirt.

When she does go as a female she doesn't really worry about tucking because like miss pixi she's not very endowed, and very effeminate. That and cold water seems to shrink it massively.
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I make the letter V. I am married to my wife Jewel (MtoF) for 8 years. Adopted into our family is my Sextoy/SSO (Straight Male).--Not living together.
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  #82  
Old 01-18-2012, 10:29 PM
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Lover has relaxed and opened fully up. It was a mild fright for everyone at first. How do I explain it? I noticed he became really possessive and clingy to me. Cute at times as he bared his all like a cute little boy who just craves my love. I was kissing on Woogie and before I knew it he was there begging for a kiss as well. In the morning he is excited to see me wake up. He fully lets me cuddle and smother him. The possessive side is him getting slightly jealous at times. I don't blame the sadness when I have to leave.

We made pasta together. The kids got a kick out of watching it go through the roller. Then they watched as we formed it into stuffed ravioli. Finally the whole family sat down and ate a great dinner.

Lover has been helping Jewell and I so much. He has been watching the kids and even making us dinner when he can. It is great. Seeing him really get into playing and caring for the kids is so sweet. I have been needing to get The dew into some social activity. I made a promise to Lover I would REALLY look into it. So, I made a few calls around and managed to get her into a ballet class. It starts this Tuesday! He even volunteered to do some of the driving to town. It is 45 min to town, every week until May. Big commitment on both our parts.

So he came over and picked The Dew and I up for a quick town trip on Friday. We all had so much fun. Lover took us out to eat. He helped pick out the ballet slippers. It was just a blast. Jewell came over to his house. The dew was running around in her little outfit. She looked so big. My little baby twirling around being her cute 7 year old self.

Well Jewell picked up The Dew and gave me a big goodnight kiss and left me at Lovers. By the time that noon had come around we had 4 hot steamy sessions and a long shower. It was such a release for me. I needed the break from the kids. It is January and they are mainly stuck inside mauling me. A night of being able to do nothing but talk, laugh, moan, cuddle, and sleep. Very lovely.
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I make the letter V. I am married to my wife Jewel (MtoF) for 8 years. Adopted into our family is my Sextoy/SSO (Straight Male).--Not living together.
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  #83  
Old 01-21-2012, 12:25 PM
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Bravo! You go, girl!
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
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  #84  
Old 01-21-2012, 07:28 PM
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Default The other girls I compete with. (Sarcasm)

There is a new Love in his eyes. I seen it when he took the kids and I to town for The Dews first day of ballet. Little Woogier curled up in Lovers lap and The Dew quickly joined and he gave them a big hug. You could tell he was melting.

Woogie was seated behind him and every time we got out of the double cab truck he would snatch up Woogie. First he would make an excuses for it. In the end we knew that he just loved it. He loves her. Woogie would almost curl around his face and shoulders hugging him so tightly. He carried her around the whole town trip every chance he got. I know that two year old has some weight on her but he didnít mind.

The Dew had a scary yet fun time at her ballet class. The girls all wanted to hang out and talk with her. She on the other hand was a little too scared to talk . Me being only 5'3 was very intimidated by what I call the stamped of pink. That is a whole bunch of little girls, in tutu's, in that small building racing around. Absolutely adorable and oh so dangerous.

At home was more pasta making. Lasagna this time. We picked out the ingredients at the grocer while The Dew was at dance. We put together a delicious dinner. Everyone pigged out. I have been working out too, so my appetite was bigger than usual. Woogie ate only off Lovers plate that night, and eventually fell asleep in his lap. He mildly freaked asking what he should do next. I asked if he was comfy, and with a funny look on his face he said yes. Then relax I said. To which point he did finally relax. Jewell and I warmed our truck. Then we took the full and sleepy children out, and headed home.
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I make the letter V. I am married to my wife Jewel (MtoF) for 8 years. Adopted into our family is my Sextoy/SSO (Straight Male).--Not living together.
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  #85  
Old 01-27-2012, 06:28 AM
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Odd looks and soft kisses

It seems that the Tuesday thing is really working out. We all went in again together. This time The Dew talked to the girls in her class. We left her there so we could go get our laundry wrapped up. Woogie wandered around the small brightly lit laundry mat checking out a couple of other two year olds. The older lady who works there usually just stares at me. I this time got mauled by a six year old and a nine year old that for some odd reason wouldn’t leave me alone for the life of me. I didn't mind. I thought it rather cute.

The hour passed by quickly. We wiggled our way through other people waiting for their little ballerina's to be cut loose. We watched through the big window as the teacher lead them through parts of there soon to be dance/play? Finally they let the classes loose. I helped The Dew into her warmer clothes, and we headed back home.

Jewell again took both of the kids home as soon as dinner was eaten. We sat and talked for a while letting the days stress melt off. I took a shower while he enjoyed a late night cup of coffee. Only slightly to my surprise; Lover was waiting to pounce as soon as I was out. I slept deep and late in the morning I cuddled Lovers pillow.

His kisses are so wet and deep. So smooth. So open. Full o f fire and longing. Heavy with passion. They are always welcome and never done for there is always a hunger for more. I cannot get enough of kissing him. I love to touch him. I will spend as much time as possible just massaging his body, scratching his back, and running my fingers through his hair. Touch is healing. I will give all I can to heal even just one crack in his heart.

Mourning the death of the male.

Lovers friend, that has ran into us more than one time, showed up. He is the one that has recently asked if I had moved in, and Lover replied that we were just carpooling. I had wet hair from just getting out of the shower and was seated next to Lover. He came in trying to hold his shock in. He sat and we all talked casually loaded with the usual humor and laughs that comes out with the three of us together.

Lovers friend finally got up ready to leave and wanted Lover to follow without me. I could just tell by body language. So, I busied around cleaning up. When Lover came in he said he explained the situation to his friend. He noted the fact that his friend, lets call him M, was very bummed out for Jewell's sake.

Lover and his friend seemed deeply mourned over the death of Jewell's male side. It threw me into a guilt strong and heavy in my stomach. I slept quietly with Jewell that night trailing my fingers over her body.

I went jogging early in the morning. I really needed to think, and if need be cry. I have such a hard time doing that in front of anyone. So, I am wandering along and an icy blast slapped me across the face. I finally snapped out of it with a hard shiver, realizing it was just their perspectives.

Jewell hasn't mourned this loss like they were. There male was them. It was worth mourning, because for them the pain of losing it was unbearable. She would have never taken hormones with that attitude.

Yes, there was the loss. It did hurt none the less. The death of our romance. It hurt her and it hurt me. The loss of the sexual side. The connection it brings. The intimacy that grows out of it. For most it is a deal breaker. The fact that she will not touch me sexually at all may eventually be the deal breaker more than the loss of being cocked will ever matter. That is a matter that I haven't wanted to unearth just yet.

Back to their tragedy. In a way it is. But like a said before I went into the last tangent she would have never taken hormones with that attitude. Could the gain trump the loss? Why would we, and would she if we didn't know or at lest felt that there was a gain larger. There was something deeper that we sacrificed for. It was a we. We were well aware it would only be time. For love, for letting her be her may be mine.

For Jewell I can only give estimations. The feeling of being one with mind and body. To transcend the lower chalkra. To use estrogen as a smart drug an antidepressant.

Of course it goes deeper than that but its a base understanding. A simple way to let it go and go to sleep now.

I am not writing this to make a statement, or seem like I understand. I am writing this because writing is how I get things out. It is how I make sense of the world. Rereading my thoughts help me put the pieces together. Blogging has its advantage of getting other peoples thoughts involved too. It can let me know more than I know what I really think. What is it I focus on. It is like flipping a coin. Once you do you figure out what you are hoping for.
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I make the letter V. I am married to my wife Jewel (MtoF) for 8 years. Adopted into our family is my Sextoy/SSO (Straight Male).--Not living together.
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  #86  
Old 01-28-2012, 07:40 PM
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Jewell is over at Lovers today. He went over there yesterday and hung out all day. I have come to the realization that Lovers male energy heavily arouses Jewell. I know that she would never come on to him, but she really gets off on his energy. It makes her feel more feminine. She also gets heavily aroused at Lover and I's relationship. Maybe itís the air of secrecy that we have. We keep our love for each other to ourselves. I know Jewell would want more gory details, and she would really like to see some PDA between Lover and I. If Lover doesnít feel comfortable then it is not going to happen. That and I feel that bedroom stuff should stay in the bedroom. We respect each others boundaries.
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I make the letter V. I am married to my wife Jewel (MtoF) for 8 years. Adopted into our family is my Sextoy/SSO (Straight Male).--Not living together.
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  #87  
Old 02-04-2012, 06:13 PM
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It seems to be a growing habit of everyone ganging up for a town trip. Well I should say Lover, The Woogie, The Dew, and I go in. Then we come home and everyone gets a shower. Lover and I make dinner for everyone. Then Jewell takes the kids and heads home for the night. On Wednesday everyone comes over to do some chores together and get me.

This time Lover was sick. It didn't seem to gang up on him until that night. I didn't get much loving but I gave more of it. I stayed up with him and rubbed his back with his coughing fits. I have been suffering with insomnia so it wasn't hard for me to miss a nights rest.

If it is to stick I want Jewell to take on Wednesday school day for The Dew. I think he needs to be more involved. I don't think he is enough engaged with the children. There seems to be a jealously between The Dew and Woogie that turns into fights when I am gone. That and I am constantly absorbed with the children. I don't mind they are growing so fast. I just want more involvement with Jewell.

I have realized, Jewell has been made aware as well, that when she leaves I only need to add an hour to my chores. If she tries to take on my chores it doesn't get done. It is very frustrating. She gripes that she wants to be all female but doesn't want to take it on. I take on the rougher chores like haying goats, and cutting wood with no problem. I am just overwhelmed. I am running a business, a farm, a school, the house work, and making all our food from scratch, not including helping Lover.

I think that Jewell is trying and if I talk to her and walk her through it I am sure she would love to take on one day of school. We have great communication skills. So, she knows when I get swamped. She is over helping Lover today with his electric system. I have a kid with a cold and a messy house to contend with.
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I make the letter V. I am married to my wife Jewel (MtoF) for 8 years. Adopted into our family is my Sextoy/SSO (Straight Male).--Not living together.
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  #88  
Old 02-16-2012, 01:27 AM
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This is one of the first blogs I read on this site, and I've followed your story with interest. Thanks for sharing; you have a perspective and way of writing that I haven't often seen, and it's nice to know that others manage poly relationships in addition to children and family stuff. Hope all is well, and wishing you the best!
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  #89  
Old 02-21-2012, 06:07 AM
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Lover and I spent most of the afternoon in his bed with the kids last week. We cuddled, I read to them off and on, as we dozed. We were all fighting off the family shared cold. It was sweet to see Lover so relaxed and not afraid to just be himself around The Dew and Woogie.

We have had some awesome crazy nights alone since I last wrote. It is always so fun to be with him. We often get a little toasted on beer or wine. He took me out to eat a couple of time. It seems one or the other has money and in turn helps the other. Itís a great balance. I do know it is my turn to treat. I do love to take care of my Misteress.

Lover is attempting to get a big piece of land we can all stay on. We are all excited about that prospect. I am nervous just being such a creature of habit, and not wanting to ruin a good thing. On the bright side I could get more nookie. That and he does really want to be more involved with the kids.

Jewell, The Dew, and I all sat around and made valentines day cards out of the typical construction paper hearts we cut out. It was such fun and we were all covered in glue and glitter when we finished. We made a big heart to Lover aka The man of the house. He stuck it on his fridge with duct tape.

Life is simple and pleasant like that. Woogie loves to wrap herself around his scraggly beard, and nuzzle in his hair. The dew is becoming more and more of a independent young lady everyday. The rhythms of the seasons hardly change. The goats are heavy and ready to kid. The sun is giving us more warmth everyday. Soon gardening season will be here.

I have realized that Jewell understands my frustration of being overwhelmed. Nothing can disarm you more than someone truly thanking you for all you do. I was a really bear with him for over a week. She let me be. I half woke up in the night and just told her as many times as I could how much I loved her then fell asleep in her arms.


Tomorrow is Tuesday. We will homeschool and clean house. Then we will do our chores outside when the sun is most inviting. Lover will call and come up with excuses for us to come over earlier than necessary. We will gather our things and head over there. We will load up the kids and laundry in his truck. I usually read to The Dew as we are driving. She will help with my errands, until it is time to drop her off. Then Lover and I will discuss me staying the night or not. We will debate over what to make for dinner. We will give Woogie full attention for the hour that The Dew is gone. We sneak in to watch The Dew dance the last 5min of her class. Finally we will all drive the 30min to his house to be reunited with Jewell. We make dinner, take showers, and talk about everything. Then I stay or I go home with Jewell and the kids. I can't wait!
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I make the letter V. I am married to my wife Jewel (MtoF) for 8 years. Adopted into our family is my Sextoy/SSO (Straight Male).--Not living together.
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  #90  
Old 02-23-2012, 05:56 PM
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I know itís a boundary for you, Lover, to never say the words. After all you call yourself my "Sextoy" and leave it at that. I get nervous sometimes that maybe you don't feel the way I do. I know that I don't show it much for fear of you pushing me away. But then you sneak in that kiss, as I hold you firmly in my arms. That longing that desire. You say the words with your lips against mine. We may never say the words to one another. Maybe we don't have to.

Would they really transcend the way you touch me. Could they out do your back rubs, your foreplay? Could they really make a fluid bonded couple with intertwined hands, legs, hips, and mouths any closer? I don't think so.

I thought I heard you whisper it last night. While we were wrapped in one another. I know for a fact that I felt it in every touch, every laugh, and every smile. I know it is what brought you back to me as I lay in bed this morning. I savored it in our goodbye kiss.

Then it is time for me to close the door, to face the cold, the world. With the shutting of the door I turn from the spoiled protected female into the strong male mothering role.

Time is fleeting. Here I am again. Pulled back to life as I carry sleepy kids to bed. It isn't a gloomy thing for me to leave. I do miss our fun conversations, and our time alone. I cherish my home, my personal space. I love my children's laughter, and being there to wipe tears. I love my beautiful Jewell, and my wonderful Lover. My life is full of ups and downs. I don't like having to say goodbye to Lover knowing how alone he is. I don't like the howls of a teething baby. I do miss it when I am not around. I love all five people in my family. That includes me.

How can one love another without first loving themselves?
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I make the letter V. I am married to my wife Jewel (MtoF) for 8 years. Adopted into our family is my Sextoy/SSO (Straight Male).--Not living together.
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