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  #1  
Old 02-21-2012, 01:08 AM
Uknow Uknow is offline
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Default Long lasting...?

I would like to know if there is any couples who has had a closed group of partners that's lasted for years? Wether the group be 4,6 or more ppl..
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Old 02-21-2012, 07:25 AM
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Originally Posted by Uknow View Post
I would like to know if there is any couples who has had a closed group of partners that's lasted for years? Wether the group be 4,6 or more ppl..
"Couples" don't really have situations like this. Individuals do. Poly is generally not couplecentric.

It seems to me that the first thing to do is to work on not thinking of relationships from the stand point of us (the couple) and them. It just doesn't really work like that I have found. Poly is not co-dependent its about autonomy, even if you have a partner that you share kids, house, car, assets with. Love doesn't understand all that.... Maybe your questions should be rephrased? Just a thought.
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Old 02-21-2012, 07:33 AM
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How would I go about this question.. Is there any closed group of about 4,6 people that stayed together? If so how long?
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Old 02-21-2012, 07:42 AM
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How would I go about this question.. Is there any closed group of about 4,6 people that stayed together? If so how long?
sounds good to me, and yes there are many... their situations might not be what one would think as poly relationships tend to create a good deal of autonomy. The definitions of a "closed group" can be as varied as poly relationships themselves.

I live in an emotional triad with three and have a girlfriend outside of that also... we are four in a round about way... or five, if you include her husband. We are committed to each other in various ways and have been for about three years as is. The rest is a matter of each person and how we all fit together.
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Old 02-21-2012, 07:50 AM
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Has it been the 3 of you for the 3 years solid? Or all 4 of you has been solid for 3 years? Thanks for helping me figure this out btw
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Old 02-21-2012, 04:16 PM
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I'm unclear as to what you are trying to figure out. Could you explain what it is behind this that makes you interested in knowing? If you read around here long enough you will see that there are many configurations in poly relationship dynamics.

All four of us for about three years. We are not all partnered but metamour relationships I find are just as important. Often there is no less support and caring. To me poly is about creating relationships of care and support. The rest is icing. I have a lot of icing I'm very fortunate.
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Old 03-20-2012, 09:03 PM
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Default True or False: Open relationship + happily married long-term = extremely rare.

I posted a question concerning open relationships at another forum and this was one of the answers I received. I'm curious to get alternate opinions. Thanks!
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Old 03-20-2012, 09:46 PM
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You also have to consider the answer to

True or False: CLOSED relationship + happily married long-term = extremely rare.

I formed my relationship wants/needs in reaction largely to what I saw in the unhappy and broken marriages in my family and their friends.

Anyway, the plural of anecdote is not data. What is it you're really trying to find out?
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Old 03-20-2012, 09:51 PM
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I guess it depends on what you mean by extremely. It's not the norm, obviously. But there's no way to get real numbers, because people are so closeted.

Dan Savage suggests that successful open marriages are much more common than people think and filled a column with anecdotes to prove his point -- http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/S...e?oid=11412386 -- and this great article from The Advocate expands on the topic with some very interesting research and more anecdotes -- http://www.advocate.com/Print_Issue/...es/Monogamish/

My gf and her husband have been together for 10+ years and married for, I think, 4, and they have one of the strongest marriages I've seen (now, wasn't always).

So, I'd say false, but again it depends on how you slice it.
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Old 03-20-2012, 09:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by drtalon View Post
anyway, the plural of anecdote is not data.
Awesome.
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