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Old 02-19-2012, 05:00 AM
Nerdpower13's Avatar
Nerdpower13 Nerdpower13 is offline
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Danville, VA
Posts: 72
Default Dealing with guilt.

So I have stated before that my wife and I are in an open marriage. Well one of the major problems I seem to have when seeing someone outside of the marriage is guilt. Especially if the person is long-distance. I feel guilty that my wife gets to experience intimacy with me that the other girl has no chance of any time soon. I feel like she deserves to be able to spend time with me.

Take the girl I am currently talking to as an example. She lives in Ohio and I live in Virginia. We met online and there was an almost instant attraction. Before we even really started getting to know each other I made sure she was fully aware that I AM married and my wife will ALWAYS come first. At first she said she was okay with it and we talked for a bit on MSN and such. But then she told me she was feeling jealous and we talked. One day down the road she wants to have kids and get married and have someone who ONLY wants her. And I feel terrible that I can't provide that for her because we both like each other a lot. She had decided that she couldn't be with me if there was no hope of having me to herself but then we talked some more and she said she was willing to try under the caveat that she can see other people too. But ever since we made that decision I feel like she has been pulling away from me. She doesn't reply to messages when she used to reply instantly, she seems a lot more distant only replying with one word or maybe two. And every time I try to ask her a question about the relationship and how she is feeling it goes unanswered. I feel horrible because I wish I could split myself in two and let her have one and my wife the other. I feel like she deserves someone who only wants to be with her if that's what she wants. And I can never give that to her unless something catastrophic happens between me and my wife.

Any advice? What do I do?
ME: 23 year old slightly bi-curious male. B: 19 year old bi female and my wife
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