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  #801  
Old 02-02-2012, 05:15 PM
polyFM polyFM is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Castalia View Post
I was/am going through a depressive period, have been since the beginning of December and all it really did was to clarify that I had no one to call to talk to or hang out with.
I'm not sure if this applies to your situation, but the winter months SUCK for me. I'm always more anxious and prone to regression in the winter - I think it has to do with a decrease in sunshine. Come summertime I've got more bounce in my step.

Regardless, the "failed attempts" at integrating weren't failures if you tried. You probably learned a bit about yourself and others in the process, right? That applies to so many things... recipes, business ventures, relationships... I feel like there's only failure if you DON'T put yourself out there. You're sounding damn successful to me .
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  #802  
Old 02-03-2012, 07:05 PM
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Castalia Castalia is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by polyFM View Post
I'm not sure if this applies to your situation, but the winter months SUCK for me. I'm always more anxious and prone to regression in the winter - I think it has to do with a decrease in sunshine. Come summertime I've got more bounce in my step.

Regardless, the "failed attempts" at integrating weren't failures if you tried. You probably learned a bit about yourself and others in the process, right? That applies to so many things... recipes, business ventures, relationships... I feel like there's only failure if you DON'T put yourself out there. You're sounding damn successful to me .
Thank you very much for the happy thoughts, they help. There are a few reasons that winter/the holiday season is difficult for me, including weather. I am, at heart, a warm weather/summer person and living this far north is still a struggle for me. You are also right that if nothing else, I learned more about myself from those experiences.
Today, thankfully, is a better day. I hit a wall Wednesday and after banging my head on it for a while, I realized that some things needed to change. I have always been so busy trying to make everyone else happy that it has left me empty.
Today, I am broken, exhausted and sad but for the first time in a while, I feel like me.
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  #803  
Old 02-13-2012, 04:34 AM
RunicWolf RunicWolf is offline
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Found out yesterday that the tax return money we where counting on to pay our rent, bills, get BrigidsDaughter's car out of the shop, fix the rear breaks on my car, pay for our week long vacation, let me finally get my ass out of state on my own, and a bunch of other stuff got eaten by a crooked student loan company. Tried to get drunk yesterday with a bunch of my friends, but it turned me into a whiny emo bitch until I sobered up again.

However I'm not doing too bad, honestly. Tomorrow we're going to put in some more job applications, apply for a grant or two, several of our friends offered to help cover things (I love my friends, I really do), we've got food in our pantry, a roof over our heads, I'm relatively healthy, and people that care and love me. As tired as I am of living in survival mode, it could be worse. I had an opportunity yesterday to blow a bunch of money but didn't because I checked the mail and found this news out before hand.

So yea, as shitty as things are, life ain't too bad right now.
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  #804  
Old 02-13-2012, 08:14 AM
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NovemberRain NovemberRain is offline
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oh RunicWolf, that simply sucks.

My head has been trying to explode for a full seven days now. I must go back to work tomorrow, and I'm not in the least sleepy. I haven't been able to get myself clean and dressed before 3pm for six days now. *sigh*
I had a lovely lovely date scheduled with First bf and couldn't go because I'm sick. I'm so tired of only my own company, I actually want to go back to work, sick or not.
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with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who lives in the apartment building next door)
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  #805  
Old 02-13-2012, 11:34 PM
RunicWolf RunicWolf is offline
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So, after a day of running around and doing something personally painful, it'll all work out. My life is not going to fall apart at the seams, even if it seems that way at times, and I owe it all to an awesome wife and our awesome friends.

In the immortal words of a wise man: Still Flyin'.
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  #806  
Old 02-16-2012, 10:53 PM
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Castalia Castalia is offline
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RunicWolf, I glad you got everything settled. That really sucks that you got screwed out of your refund.
Week three of my computer literacy class and I have absolutely no motivation. This class is like the idiots guide to your very first computer. Seriously, this is my fifth class in an online college. If you can't use a computer, how the hell did you get this far?
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  #807  
Old 02-17-2012, 03:52 AM
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BrigidsDaughter BrigidsDaughter is offline
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I'm doing alright. It's been a crazy week. A friend of ours is in the hospital with viral meningitis, mono, and pneumonia. Another couple of friends of ours lost their house due to arson; while our male friend was camping up here with us and our female friend (his roommate) was visiting family in VT her boyfriend conspired with 2 of his friends to burn down their house with our male friend's 3 cats inside. Another one of our friends just found out that his 4 year old daughter isn't his. So while our tax return was ganked out from under us, it could have been worse.

Still, I'm feeling kinda lonely tonight. Runic Wolf is busy cheering up our buddy who found out his kid isn't his by playing Star Wars the Old Republic with him. Wendigo is trying to hold down the fort and keep Pretty Lady sane, so his attention is understandably elsewhere, but with all of our friends busy trying to focus on legitimate needs of others, they don't really have time to just chat with me.
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  #808  
Old 02-17-2012, 03:45 PM
bassman bassman is offline
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More or less confirmed that I'll be redundant this time next week. But 7 years in a Company who now want me to spend more time away from my family, is long these days, and I hope to use this an opportunity rather than a setback.

The best news, is that ive made a very good friend on here !
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  #809  
Old 02-17-2012, 10:00 PM
marksbabygirl marksbabygirl is offline
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This has been the crappiest month EVER.

Necrotizing pancreatitis is the nastiest, most horrific disease EVER.

I would rather go through a family member having a heart attack or cancer (and yes, I've gone through both) than this.

Being told that my husband has a 5% chance of survival if they don't cut him open and another 1-2% chance if they do.... worst moment of my life.

A month later, he's talking, he's starting physio, he's on the road to recovery. Now I get to fall apart... not by choice, but hey.. its the way my physiology works.

I am taking a day to *me* today and am feeling incredibly guilty for doing so. It fucking sucks.

Only good note is that I have a doctor who is amazing, and short term disability and/or EI medical is almost guaranteed - just have to wait for it.

I'm so tired.
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  #810  
Old 02-17-2012, 10:57 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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In a good mood.
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"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

Last edited by nycindie; 05-01-2014 at 04:56 AM.
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