Our situation grew out of a deep friendship between the three of us and our decision to do what it took to maintain that friendship.
We did a lot of talking about it before I actually began something physical with E because we wanted to make sure we were all on the same page. I really fought for that because I had been in a situation previously where the permission a wife gave to her husband did not encompass, for her, what her husband ended up doing. Cue unrest and unhappiness.
I think there should be some distinction between "inclusion" and "cult." I mean, some people could look at us and think "cult" because we started out with such similar interests and we've grown together, even before, in shared interests. We are still ourselves, though, and going through the rough patch before we got to being a triad taught me incredible things about two men I thought I already knew so well. And I'm still learning.
Maybe I'm not understanding things at the level everyone else is, but there seems to be a fuss about triads for some reason....