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Old 11-19-2009, 08:23 PM
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rosevett rosevett is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Finger Lakes Region of NY
Posts: 135
Default Sharing our story

This was previously posted on our local group and I do have everyones permission to share it here. Constlady is on the board and may add a bit more - or not since her orginal thoughts are here as well.

We just passed a mile marker in celebration of a one year anniversary for my partner and his girlfriend(Constlady). As we progressed through each relationship and it seemed fitting ya know like folks getting engaged yada yada we have exchanged rings, pleasantries and usually a mini vaca..

When Martin and I were solid we exchanged rings and then the solidification between the three of us(R, M & myself) became obvious and we selected a style that represented US. The guys have two bands intertwined and I have three.

So move forward to adding Constlady, celebration of what seems like a forever bond and forward movement of our relationships...so gifts are always expected at celebrations...RIGHT...and great minds thinking alike..we did RINGS again. Constlady was the mind behind the rings this time, as I mentioned they all have 'meaning' and these ones that we all wear do as well. In her words (with her permission) she’ll explain at the end as I did not want to blunder through the exact thought.

So what do you DO when you exchange rings, have a weddings or get engagement OH YA have a Ceremony.

They somehow think I am the creative one and asked me to come up with something. So I put my thinking cap on, since I had only mere hours and came up with a wonderful plan, texted it over with Constlady and she was in full agreement. Unfortunately it took more effort then the few hours we had between work schedules, family obligation and life in general.

So we spread it out a little bit before Constlady and Richard took off for their little mini-vaca we exchanged the rings and I gave everyone an assignment to find small things in nature that represent or have meaning in our lives/relationships.

Martin & I hauled children off to the Salvation Army, as we were the designated childcare providers for the weekend, to find an appropriate book to destroy. I found one with a title only on the spine, an older look to it and thick. I hollowed the book, like you see in the movies to hide things and gave it our own title ‘Life’s Guidelines to Relationships & Love’ By: Society Rules.

Our ceremony was impromptu on Constlady & Richards return, adding to the book Nuts, Seeds, Eggshells, Mum Flowers, silk flowers, evergreen needles, a rock, stones, a remembrance from the recent trip oh ya did I mention NUTS. We closed the book, I recited the title and reminded everyone that the items we added to the story and that the EMPTY book represented society standards that we found empty and that we filled the book with our own rules and guidelines via the symbols we each put into the ‘book’. Then to their surprise I tossed the contents of the book into the air, this to me represented our connections to going with the flow and allowing things to fall as they will.

In the words of Constlady ~
She IS the creative one, don't let her fool ya

When we initially talked about the book idea, filling it with flower petals was the first thing to come to mind, but we soon realized that relationships ain't all rose petals, sometimes there are thorns too. So with that in mind, the symbolism of the various items (ok, the nuts in particular!) included growth and strength and rough patches and fragility and shared memories and....you get the picture.

As for the rings - we actually had them custom made based loosely on a style I found that had been discontinued in mass production. In the center two copper wires are twined together, to represent the intertwining of each individual relation. The braid rests on and is protected on 3 sides by a titanium band, to represent the foundation and protection that being a part of this family provides for each dyad in it. Titanium is pretty strong stuff while copper is much more maleable.

Martin – who is very much our mono in the relationship put the event into perspective with this wrap up.
It was the perfect end to an awesome weekend.
i liked the idea of the ceremony Rosevett came up with. i'm not overly dramatic (well, maybe sometimes) but it was enjoyable figuring out significance and gathering each object we would use to symbolize our (the four of us) relationship...wonder what the expression on my face was when Rosevett threw the book's contents into the air. but, she always does seem to do the unexpected...

and as much as the ceremony was heartfelt and sincere, it is still just a symbol of something real that has been happening for the four of us for more than a year now.
to me, the real proof that our relationship works is the fact that Rosevett and i watched Constlady's four grandchildren while Constlady and richard were able to enjoy their anniversary celebration weekend. did Rosevett mention adventures in babysitting?
Do you live in New York State - www.thebirdcage.org - a place to chat local events and meetups for like minded folks!
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