Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > General Poly Discussions

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 11-19-2009, 07:27 AM
MonoVCPHG's Avatar
MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742
Default Poly Union/marriage Ceremonies

I'm interested to hear what people have done or would consider doing if they choose to declare their poly relationship.

Redpepper and I were talking about this a little because the polygamy laws in Canada seem to be a hot topic.

Although raised catholic and engaging in a traditional relationship, I eloped which needless to say pissed a lot of people off. The ceremony didn't seem important to us, the commitment and vows did. I don't even know what the drive to get married was seeing how we weren't really inviting anyone to watch and you don't get gifts for eloping! It simply felt right.

So now I'd like to ask for experiences or expectations if any. What type of ceremony, public or private? What would your vows sound like? Although I am wired monogamous and despite eloping, my traditional conditioning is very ingrained when it comes to marriage/union vows. Iím having a hard time wrapping my head around this aspect of poly commitment. I'm seriously lost in this and look forward to the opinions of all. This topic fascinates and yet worries me a little.
__________________

Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes

Poly Events All Over
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 11-19-2009, 08:26 AM
redpepper's Avatar
redpepper redpepper is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,634
Default

what is it that worries you?
__________________
Anyone want to be friends on Facebook?
Send me your name via PM
My blog
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 11-19-2009, 03:34 PM
MonoVCPHG's Avatar
MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742
Default

You need to get your men to work....up and at em Gorgeous
__________________

Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes

Poly Events All Over
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 11-19-2009, 04:07 PM
rosevett's Avatar
rosevett rosevett is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Finger Lakes Region of NY
Posts: 135
Default Commitment Ceremony

We actually just celebrated a year of togetherness as a family of four adults. THe relationship has been building for the last 5 years. Seems everytime we have a commitment moment we add jewelry to the mix that is typically custom made and has specific meaning. We say sweet stuff and just have fun with it.

Obviously we can not have an offical bonding but we do take these celebrations as serious forward movement for our family and for the most part it's a fly by the moment thing but really does hit home in a heartfelt and sincere commitment/vow/oath.

If anyone is interested - I can share more of the details of the most recent celebration.
__________________
Do you live in New York State - www.thebirdcage.org - a place to chat local events and meetups for like minded folks!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
This post entry is a natural hand-made product. The slight variations in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 11-19-2009, 04:30 PM
MonoVCPHG's Avatar
MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by rosevett View Post

If anyone is interested - I can share more of the details of the most recent celebration.
Of course I'm interested That's why I started this thread...thanks for sharing.
__________________

Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes

Poly Events All Over
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 11-19-2009, 06:02 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231
Default Ceremonies

Hi Mono,

Not sure what your beliefs etc are but you might want to check out some of the beautiful pagan handfasting ceremonies. I'm sure if you just google "handfasting ceremonies" you'll get plenty of hits.
I've seen some very beautiful ceremonies, usually modified by the people involved, to include elements especially meaningful to them.
Good luck !
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 11-19-2009, 06:37 PM
MonoVCPHG's Avatar
MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742
Default

Well I'm kind of looking for the specifics of what people have done or would expect to do and insight into what it would mean to them. Thanks for the response though.
__________________

Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes

Poly Events All Over
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 11-19-2009, 06:53 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231
Default Ceremonies

Yea - think you'll find that in detail when you get looking. When I get a moment I'll be happy to look a little myself and see if I discover anything that would help you get started.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
Well I'm kind of looking for the specifics of what people have done or would expect to do and insight into what it would mean to them. Thanks for the response though.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 11-19-2009, 06:54 PM
LovingRadiance's Avatar
LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Alaska
Posts: 5,094
Default

I've been thinking about this a lot too recently. No plans or anything-just wondering about it. I know there is an example in the Love Without Limits book, but it didn't do a lot for me.

I hope you get some more in depth answers Mono!
__________________
"Love As Thou Wilt"
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 11-19-2009, 06:55 PM
MonoVCPHG's Avatar
MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by GroundedSpirit View Post
Yea - think you'll find that in detail when you get looking. When I get a moment I'll be happy to look a little myself and see if I discover anything that would help you get started.
Sorry, you misunderstood what I want. I am not looking for myself..I'm asking others what thier experiences or expectations are.
__________________

Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes

Poly Events All Over
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
advice, ceremonies, ceremony, commitment, commitment ceremony, marriage, poly marriage, stories

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 11:53 AM.