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Old 02-05-2012, 04:08 PM
sentinal sentinal is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 3
Default Not enough time?


I'm in the process of getting divorced and I've got involved with a poly girl who I'm quite fond of. I think poly is great and has taught me great lessons in discarding jealous thoughts, through my relationship with her.

I don't have any other partners myself which I'm fine with. She had an existing partner when I entered the relationship with her and has become increasingly promiscuous, exploring various kink avenues with others which again, I'm pleased for her about.

She lives some 60 miles away, but I don't mind travelling. We saw each other a lot in the latter half of 2011, probably every other week at worst. We visited my mother and stayed over for a night during the Christmas period to help with my mothers recent hip replacement. I have seen her twice in the last month, both this week, once to hang out for the evening after work and once at a party, both of which I went home from. I offered to stay over but she said she had work to do but on the very evening I hung out with her she went and messed around with another guy she's been seeing and spending the entire following day with him.

What has become frustrating about this is that she continues to tell me that she is looking forward to spending a few days with me at my place, but doesn't seem to want to actually organise anything. I continue to be given the impression we are in some form of relationship, which she says she values, but it doesn't really feel like it any more.

I've mentioned this to her but I don't want to go as far as nudging her into coming to stay with me. I'll just feel like I'm being done a service out of pity, which I'd prefer to avoid. I'm hoping someone can give me some advice, I'm close to letting it slide.

Am I not right/ready for poly? Is this what poly is actually like for most people?

I must admit, it's become clear from writing this that we need to discuss our relationship since I don't seem to think I stand on the same ground as she has me.
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new to poly, new to polyamory, nre

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