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  #21  
Old 11-20-2009, 12:00 AM
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princeofcats princeofcats is offline
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Finally last night my wife and I spoke, honestly about this situation we are going through. She has asked me to think about what we would want our marriage to be like. I would love for her to date other men. I would love to woo other women. But other than kissing and holding hands, I don't think sex is something we are willing to discuss at this point.

Baby Steps. She is opening up to the idea. It's scary and exciting. My palms are sweating, my hart is racing and . . . and. . . and I need food.

Prince of Cats
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  #22  
Old 01-27-2012, 09:30 PM
jafo14 jafo14 is offline
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my wife has a boyfriend also









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Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
I don't know if I agree with all of your views.

BUT

You did a magnificent job of explaining it and I greatly appreciate your explanation! Much food for thought, I am going to tell Maca to read your post!!
Thank you.
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  #23  
Old 01-27-2012, 09:34 PM
jafo14 jafo14 is offline
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Default my wife has a boyfriend

Look why are you so worried about her dont you see her everyday
doesnt she sleep next to you, my wife has a boyfriend also but the kind of relationship they are in its just getting to start, i will tell more soon as i see a reply and how all started.











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Originally Posted by princeofcats View Post
I did have a talk with my wife and it when horribly but with now we are OK. I guess it's insecurity. I know that if some other guy steals her away, then she has changed as a person and is no longer the woman I'm in a relationship with.

God love her, though. I know I do.

I like that there is an ongoing conversation about the Jealousy/Possessiveness thing. Makes you think about what is going on or not going on in your relations.

Thanks to everyone.
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  #24  
Old 01-30-2012, 12:13 AM
JohnnyDangerously JohnnyDangerously is offline
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Originally Posted by Ceoli View Post
One of the things I love about language is it's ability to grow and evolve with the societies that it inhabits. Even the biblical definitions you cite have been translated and re-translated from cultures that are very foreign to ours. That's what interpretation is for. It's how we find the way to attach ideas to words in ways that are relevant and can be understood in the context of the society that uses them. So for me, it's only natural that definitions for things such as envy and jealousy evolve to be more relevant to the people that use them




For myself, I can't apply the definitions you use to polyamory because I don't view another person or their love as something that I lay claim to or something that is rightfully mine.
I think for myself, love falls under the category of grace. Grace is neither deserved or rightfully belongs to anyone. It's simply there to be appreciated and treasured. For me, the love I have for a partner or receive from a partner is not a possession for me to hold, but a grace for me to appreciate every day.
This was the problem I had as well. Just because something has been freely shared with you over a period of time does NOT give you ownership of it. I can let someone borrow my car for weeks, months, even years, but it still doesn't make the car theirs. Love is not a right; it is a GIFT, freely given by one person to another. Though it IS easy to take for granted, we shouldn't...
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  #25  
Old 01-30-2012, 02:11 AM
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polandrylady polandrylady is offline
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Cool hmmm

Then she values you .... but hasn't communicated on her own needs...

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Originally Posted by princeofcats View Post
I've spoke to my wife about my coworker. I told her I felt she was being posessive, as opposed to being jealous. Jealousy is wanting something someone else has. Posession is not wanting anyone to have what you have. She fears someone will steal me away. Any thoughts about this topic?
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  #26  
Old 01-30-2012, 02:46 AM
threesnocrowd threesnocrowd is offline
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Hey Jafo,
Fill us in your your relationship with your wife and how she met her boyfriend. How long have you been married? How old are you guys? How is it going? We are looking for a boyfriend for my wife and kinda want to know how things are for other people in this situation. Look forward to hearing from you!
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