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  #21  
Old 01-29-2012, 02:45 AM
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To be clear, I think the word is silly, especially since other words already apply, but not the concept behind it. But just because I have a judgment about the word doesn't mean I don't understand it. Should I turn myself in to the thought police because I think "bi-monogamous" is a stupid silly word?
Quite frankly, I don`t care who you turn yourself into. You had an opinion, you said it. Own it, and don`t defend it.
I don` t have to like your opinion. It`s 'all good' that way. Seems pretty thick to me, that when people promote something as 'PC' we all embrace it, but if it`s simply just 'new'... we mock it.
Don`t worry, I`m no saint. I`m equally guilty in other areas too. I think I was pretty thick once upon a time, over the subject of intersexed, and transexual people.

P.s, - If you ever catch me saying stupid shit like 'loverly' or 'frubbles' or 'compersion' feel free to call me on it. To me, there is a difference between someone coining something for legitimacy, and someone coining a term to be frivolous.

Last edited by SourGirl; 01-29-2012 at 02:58 AM.
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  #22  
Old 01-29-2012, 03:11 AM
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Vixtoria Vixtoria is offline
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P.s, - If you ever catch me saying stupid shit like 'loverly' or 'frubbles' or 'compersion' feel free to call me on it. To me, there is a difference between someone coining something for legitimacy, and someone coining a term to be frivolous.


Compersion annoys me. It's personal, I know. I have been on support groups for mono/poly long enough to see people use it as a weapon. "Who cares that I cheated on you for X years! We are honest now and you have to just have compersion and get over it!" Bleeeh.

As for Loverly, I'm gonna use it! I love musicals and I sing the song out all the time! So ha!


On another note, the reason I use pansexual is because it's not about the body but the person to me. I have weird tastes in who is attractive anyway, and talent is a big turn on for me. So I have liked men, women, trans, you name it. My sexuality IS different from my poly for me.
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  #23  
Old 01-29-2012, 03:33 AM
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Quite frankly, I don`t care who you turn yourself into. You had an opinion, you said it. Own it, and don`t defend it.
I don` t have to like your opinion.
Oh, I wasn't defending myself, because I genuinely don't give a shit who likes what I wrote or not, and in a day or two I won't even remember this thread, so who cares. I was just adding to the conversation, posing questions and points that came up in my mind when I read your post and Mono's.

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Seems pretty thick to me, that when people promote something as 'PC' we all embrace it, but if it`s simply just 'new'... we mock it.
Oh, I'll put down PC terminology if I don't like it. I don't automatically "embrace" being politically correct. I think a lot of PC terms are stupid and silly, too, and I don't always see being politically correct as necessary all the time.

When you say "thick" do you mean thick-headed, as in stubborn, or sort of dumb?
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Last edited by nycindie; 01-29-2012 at 03:36 AM.
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  #24  
Old 01-29-2012, 03:39 AM
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Oh, I wasn't defending myself, because I genuinely don't give a shit who likes what I wrote or not. I was just adding to the conversation, posing questions and points that came up in my mind when I read your post and Mono's.
Good to hear ! It read a bit differently to me, then your usual posts. I prefer to think of you in the ' If-you-don`t-like-it-bite-me' category.

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When you say "think" do you mean thick-headed, as in stubborn, or sort of dumb?
Closer to the 'stubborn' but not really that either. When I say thick, (related to this discussion) I mean it in the sense of not really taking the time to see it with a 360 degree point of view. Tunnel-vision I guess. More of a 'unwilling to learn' .
It is 'thick' with intent.
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  #25  
Old 01-29-2012, 03:44 AM
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Good to hear ! It read a bit differently to me, then your usual posts. I prefer to think of you in the ' If-you-don`t-like-it-bite-me' category.
LOL, yep, that's me.

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Closer to the 'stubborn' but not really that either. When I say thick, (related to this discussion) I mean it in the sense of not really taking the time to see it with a 360 degree point of view. Tunnel-vision I guess. More of a 'unwilling to learn' .
It is 'thick' with intent.
So, what you're essentially saying is that just because someone doesn't like the word bi-monogamy, they haven't examined it carefully enough nor tried to learn about it, but if they did and understood it more, they would come to love the word? What if I gave it much thought and understood it completely, but still think it's a stupid word?
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  #26  
Old 01-29-2012, 03:51 AM
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Compersion annoys me. It's personal, I know. I have been on support groups for mono/poly long enough to see people use it as a weapon. "Who cares that I cheated on you for X years! We are honest now and you have to just have compersion and get over it!" Bleeeh.
HaHa,..dont'cha love that ? I know we all use words that annoy people. ( Dont`cha ? anyone ? anyone ? Come on grammar majors, I can hear you twitching !!! ) I hate 'cowboy' references in poly, and find it very demeaning. Obviously because it`s personal for me. That`s my livelihood people are using for their own ignorant purpose. I`ve just learned not to respond, or post to anyone who wants to use that terminology. It`s a free world right ? So you can say 'loverly' with every right, and I don`t need to crack you in the head with my bullwhip for it.



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On another note, the reason I use pansexual is because it's not about the body but the person to me. I have weird tastes in who is attractive anyway, and talent is a big turn on for me. So I have liked men, women, trans, you name it. My sexuality IS different from my poly for me.
Pansexual is another one (much like bi-monogamous) that comes 'close' for me, as well. I understand it, and have felt 'moments of'.
I tend to disregard labels, as I ebb-and-flow too much, based on where my life is in the moment, and also find that most of life and my experience, are based on being specific to the people and the situations.
Being the jaded-turd that I am, I haven`t quite learned how to stop 'judging' others for their self-imposed labels. It`s a fault I work on....sometimes.
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  #27  
Old 01-29-2012, 04:04 AM
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post

So, what you're essentially saying is that just because someone doesn't like the word bi-monogamy, they haven't examined it carefully enough nor tried to learn about it, but if they did and understood it more, they would come to love the word? What if I gave it much thought and understood it completely, but still think it's a stupid word?
Ahh,..now YOU`RE putting words into my mouth. So,...bite me.

I never said anywhere that people would come to like it, if they examined the word longer. Now that you have put it out there, what I would say, is that this post was made yesterday. So a response based on a immediate reaction to the word, might be a bit thick.
What you feel 24 hours into being told of a word, might differ a year or two from now, or it might differ if you ran into a situation where a lightbulb goes off and you find you 'get it'.
If people post they have experience regarding such, where it made sense to them, then to dismiss it would be thick.

You know, while I`m all freak-a-licious with my posting ( Eat that, frubbly lovers !) I really hate the 'downgrade' people do when they take scenarios from other forums, give part of a story, then expect us all to examine it like a pack of dogs. Thats why I said I should know better then to post to these label-baiting threads.

However, I`m claiming this cesar made me do it. Yum. 06bouncy.gif
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  #28  
Old 01-29-2012, 04:24 AM
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Originally Posted by SourGirl View Post
Ahh,..now YOU`RE putting words into my mouth. So,...bite me.
Oh, did you miss my question marks? Oh, well, okay... CHOMP!


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Originally Posted by SourGirl View Post
I really hate the 'downgrade' people do when they take scenarios from other forums, give part of a story, then expect us all to examine it like a pack of dogs. Thats why I said I should know better then to post to these label-baiting threads.
Hahaha! I admit to being guilty of sometimes bringing topics here from other forums, too, but usually it's when it seems pretty juicy and made me think, so I want the opinions of the peeps here, many of whom I have grown to admire and respect (I'm looking at you, SG!).
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  #29  
Old 01-29-2012, 04:45 PM
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SourGirl SourGirl is offline
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Oh, did you miss my question marks? Oh, well, okay... CHOMP!
Question marks,..the 'new' get-out-of-jail-free card.


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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Hahaha! I admit to being guilty of sometimes bringing topics here from other forums, too, but usually it's when it seems pretty juicy and made me think, so I want the opinions of the peeps here, many of whom I have grown to admire and respect (I'm looking at you, SG!).
Yes,good points. It`s a silly thing to be annoyed about. I`m picking fly-shit out of the pepper jar I suppose. 'Really hate' wasn`t exactly accurate. I`m just being cheeky.
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  #30  
Old 01-29-2012, 05:47 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is online now
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I've never heard the term RP. But, I've known I was bi for.... shit... 25+ years. Long before I ever heard of poly. The first 15 years or so of dating, I was in mono relationships, but it was difficult as I couldn't have "both". There were some times when a boyfriend was "ok with me being with another girl cause that's different" and there were a few times I just said to hell with it and went to dating a woman, back and forth back and forth.
I'd say it was a nightmare in many aspects, always feeling like I was missing a part of myself but that having it would be wrong.

Irony-I'm in a poly-dynamic but I still feel the same way.
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