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  #31  
Old 01-19-2012, 05:35 AM
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Wow, it's so kind and generous of you to come here in the afterglow and post about it ...

That's probably why condoms get pulled off sometimes - pussies get tighter when the heat gets turned up!

Oh, and I bet you're right about the pics of dicks and Coke cans, LOL.
Hahahahaha, I'm cracking up!!

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Originally Posted by MichelleZed View Post
different penises feel different, not just in there size, shape, or angle. Most men have different thrusting styles.
One of my partners has a curved one!


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Originally Posted by dragonflysky View Post
I would guess someone would rather know that upfront than start to develop a relationship only to find out they're no longer acceptable due to the size of their "tool"!
Yes- and how freaked out they will be when they find out it's too big! That never happens!!


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Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
Yes, thank you Idealist. liking that visual. I completely concure. Those babies can puff up to a ripe ol' size. Sometimes a smaller cock is titillating in a spendid way.
I'm so glad I came back!! This is so entertaining!!
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  #32  
Old 01-19-2012, 06:00 AM
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Originally Posted by MichelleZed View Post
Most men have different thrusting styles.
Yes! Some hump like bunnies, some really let you feel the length of them slowly, and some slam it on home. And everything in between! (oh, gosh, I love cocks!)
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Last edited by nycindie; 05-01-2014 at 04:11 AM.
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  #33  
Old 01-23-2012, 11:34 PM
MeeraReed MeeraReed is offline
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At first I thought this was a joke question...but I see the poor husband is seriously worried about this.

Advice for the husband: your wife should pick out a vibrator/dildo that's larger than your size. Then you two can figure out together how things will work with a larger size.

There shouldn't be a problem at all. "Medically" this is a non-issue.

I mean, fingering immediately after intercourse is still pleasurable even though the finger is smaller than the penis, right?

And when I've been with larger guys, the stretching didn't last beyond the intercourse itself--to the point that a second round within an hour of the first still required the same amount of careful stretching as the first time. (I was back at my baseline almost immediately, in other words).

I have to say, what interests me about this thread is that this is the kind of stuff that many poly people have no interest in discussing. Relationships are about people, not dicks, etc.

Which is true. BUT. This is EXACTLY the kind of thing that a lot of new-to-poly or mono-with-a-poly-partner people are concerned about: the icky technicalities of sex. The embarrassing questions that they are afraid to ask.

Especially men. To answer someone else's question about what mono men are thinking when they are upset about the idea of their female partners seeing other men: they are thinking about penis size.

They might not be hung up on traditional social norms or on outmoded women-as-property beliefs--they might just be hung up on penis size.

It's rather sad, because the variety of equally fascinating penis sizes and shapes is a large part of why I don't want to date only one man!
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  #34  
Old 01-23-2012, 11:52 PM
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BrigidsDaughter BrigidsDaughter is offline
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I spoke the the OP in private and it seems there is more to this question that he does not wish to share publicly. Suffice to say that it isn't a penis envy issue, but a medical condition his wife has which effects how easily she bounces back.
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  #35  
Old 01-24-2012, 12:38 AM
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Hmm, well, I am curious what condition that is, but I'm still wondering how she is supposed to be able to choose lovers based on the size of their erect penises. The OP says they are hammering out their agreements and this is one they are discussing - that, if a bigger dick will prevent her from enjoying her husband's afterwards, that she "will choose her lovers to be of roughly [his] size."

Logistics of the "audition"... ???

I mean, would she ask them first, or get them aroused to measure them, or try them out first -- all before saying yea or nay? All she can expect from that are men who are looking just for sex and don't mind being used that way, because someone who wants poly relationships would be unlikely to subject himself to that kind of scrutiny before she can decide that his tool qualifies him to be with her.

OP, do you not realize this? Or are you two only looking for NSA/casual sex rather than poly relationships? if so, that certainly would make the audition process... easier, I suppose. Or, at least, it would make more sense and you'd probably find men willing to be measured on Craigslist.
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An excellent blog post against hierarchy in polyamory: http://solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-i...short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 01-24-2012 at 12:44 AM.
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  #36  
Old 01-26-2012, 12:01 AM
GAKitten GAKitten is offline
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I think they are beter suited for swinging then Poly personally. Poly is about love first and foremost. While we want to enjoy sex with those we come to fall in love with, it is not a requirement.

If she seeks men only based off her sexual pleasure and his body parts she is seeking a 'lover" which is sex driven and doesn't have to include any love whatso ever just mutual sexual fantazies.

Perhaps, your just insecure, this man will replace you sexually because you feel insecure. Before she goes and 'dates" I would resolve those issues..or it will cause nothign but disagreements and jealousy.
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  #37  
Old 01-26-2012, 03:30 AM
monkeystyle monkeystyle is offline
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Originally Posted by GAKitten View Post
I think they are beter suited for swinging then Poly personally. Poly is about love first and foremost. While we want to enjoy sex with those we come to fall in love with, it is not a requirement.
.
Who's to say what suits people better? In my time, I've seen relationships that label themselves swinging but appear Poly, and vice-versa. While for you Poly is about love first and foremost, I personally don't think having multiple partners makes Poly any more about love than monogamy, asexuality or swinging. It's just a label in the end, with more personal definitions than I'd ever care to count.
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  #38  
Old 01-26-2012, 04:15 AM
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Originally Posted by ViableAlternative View Post
But a relationship? A romantic partner? Seriously? What kind of person dates based on "Your cock must be between X and Y centimeters long in order to go out to dinner together"? An awfully damn shallow person, if you ask me.
Actually, no.

I have a very small and tilted vagina. When I use the Diva Cup, he whole tip sticks out. So in my case, fucking a guy with a 10" cock is right out of the question. My husband has an average sized penis, but if the angle is wrong, sex is very painful. And before anyone says I have a medical condition and should see a doctor, trust me, enough doctors and gynecologists have poked around up there on unrelated issues, I'm sure they would have noticed if there was something "wrong."

Also, despite my tiny vagina, I once dated a man with a penis that was about 3" erect. He tried, lord how he tried, but he was completely unable to satisfy even me with it.

That's not shallow. If someone doesn't satisfy you sexually, that's a deal breaker. Now, there are many techniques that can be learned and which don't involve coitus, so having a small penis doesn't automatically make you unable to satisfy. But if you're cursed with a three incher hard, then you'd better spend some time mastering the use of your other parts. Also, just because you're big, don't think that sticking it in and out is going to cut it... booorrriiinnngggg

Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Hmm, well, I am curious what condition that is, but I'm still wondering how she is supposed to be able to choose lovers based on the size of their erect penises.
In any relationship, there's a time to talk about sex. When that time comes up, she could simply mention that she has a medical condition that makes it painful for her to have sex with someone whose penis is larger than [insert size].

It's really not so different from someone with a true fetish (i.e. not the common interpretation of "something that turns you on" but the psychological definition, "something without which you can't be turned on"). Eventually, you just have to say, "Look, I can only get off if you're wearing a Santa Hat. That cool?"
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  #39  
Old 01-26-2012, 03:38 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
In any relationship, there's a time to talk about sex. When that time comes up, she could simply mention that she has a medical condition that makes it painful for her to have sex with someone whose penis is larger than [insert size].
Well, it didn't seem to be a matter of a small vagina and pain. The OP says his penis is average and she does just fine, but feels she wouldnt recover vaginal tone from being penetrated by a larger cock. I am disappointed he only shared off the thread what is going on...

One wonders if daily Kegel exercises would help, or if something traumatic happened to her during childbirth, and there is a perineal issue, or vaginal tearing and scarring, or what... I guess we'll never know!
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  #40  
Old 01-28-2012, 07:19 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Well, it didn't seem to be a matter of a small vagina and pain. The OP says his penis is average and she does just fine, but feels she wouldnt recover vaginal tone from being penetrated by a larger cock.
I understood that. I was presenting a safe way to screen a potential's penis size without implying that her husband is insecure about his own, whether or not that's the case, and without making the potential feel insecure when he's accepted specifically because he's smaller than her husband. File that under "little white lies to protect the innocent."

Quote:
I am disappointed he only shared off the thread what is going on... One wonders if daily Kegel exercises would help, or if something traumatic happened to her during childbirth, and there is a perineal issue, or vaginal tearing and scarring, or what... I guess we'll never know!

I respect their privacy. If he told someone in a message and not on the board, then that person really didn't have the right to share that information with the rest us. If he wanted us all to know, it would have been in his own post.

I find it amusing that you used the third person "one wonders" rather than actually taking ownership for your inquisitiveness...
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