Originally Posted by Mookitten
Those things you pointed out, and saying they're manipulation and everything...
I'm just curious, but how would a "normal" poly (I use this term because apparently I've been told he isn't doing poly right) react to my hurt/fear/anxiety?
What would a normal polyamorous person do if their lover felt this hurt and worried about the actions they were going to, and planned on doing?
I'd say rational instead of 'normal'.
But imo if he were rational and cared about how you're processing all of what he's doing, he would slow down and make inquiries. There'd be an open discussion where you would feel safe enough to share, and secure enough to know that once it's out there everything you've said was heard and accounted for, by way of his actions and behaviour. Boundaries, tidbits of information, etc. would be negotiated.
Polyfolk (practicing ethically) care about the people they're in relationships with, mono or otherwise. Their partners' happiness is important to them. Your boyfriend is so entirely focused on himself and how you're possibly interrupting his fun that it's unhealthy.
There seems to be no compromise in sight. Just a constant brushing off. That is not how anyone should be treated by someone who claims to love them.