Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 01-19-2012, 04:39 AM
celyr celyr is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3
Default questions about a polyamorus relationship

can it still be considered a polyamorus relationship if only one person is being polyamorus?

EDIT: I'm not saying that we both aren't into the idea... but what if it's just not possible for me to find anyone else that wants to be with me. I mean, I've looked and tried but... idk, this whole situation really upsets me and I just need someone to talk to...

Last edited by celyr; 01-19-2012 at 04:47 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 01-19-2012, 04:51 AM
celyr celyr is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3
Default

you know what, just nevermind. no one ever wants anything to do with me, not even my fiancée. maybe it's just me and I am a horrible person, like my mother always says. fml.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 01-19-2012, 05:32 AM
redpepper's Avatar
redpepper redpepper is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,634
Default

What! That bullshit. Its nothing to do with what your mother says! You can be as poly as the day is long and not date anyone. My PN hasn't dated in over a year and is. He's just taking a break. Don't get yourself down. It isn't becoming and if you want to attract a potential partner you've got to keep your chin up and your spirits high.

My mother has pulled that kind of shit on me in my childhood and I am refusing to believe her. She doesn't know who I am on the inside. I do and I am worthy of whatever I want to create in my life. You are too.
__________________
Anyone want to be friends on Facebook?
Send me your name via PM
My blog
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 01-19-2012, 05:46 AM
celyr celyr is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3
Default

thank you for your comment... but my fiancee wont even look at me most days. idk what to do... and i've tried being confident about the situation but its really discouraging when no one wants to even talk to you.... and it wasn't always just my mom, it was almost everyone bringing me down... countless bullies, my family, strangers...
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 01-19-2012, 05:50 AM
NovemberRain's Avatar
NovemberRain NovemberRain is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 696
Default

What redpepper said, times a thousand. Please submit to your brain for consideration: It's more than possible that your mother is wrong. Being a mother (or an egg donor) does not convey god-like 'right' status. She's a human being, and sounds like a perfectly fallible one at that.

If your fiancee doesn't want anything to with you, why is he your fiancee? Keep reading here, there are as many ways to do poly as there are people (and probably more).
__________________
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...
Robert A. Heinlein

Me: female, bi, (formerly hinge of a vee)
with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who lives in the apartment building next door)
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 01-19-2012, 07:36 AM
BlackUnicorn's Avatar
BlackUnicorn BlackUnicorn is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 906
Default

Hi there! A situation where one member of the couple IDs as polyamorous and the other doesn't is usually called a poly/mono or mono/poly relationship.
__________________
Me: bi female in my twenties
Dating: Moonlightrunner
Metamour: Windflower
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 01-19-2012, 03:14 PM
redpepper's Avatar
redpepper redpepper is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,634
Default

I'm confused. Your fiance doesn't look at you and you can't find anyone else? Could you say more about your story? I'm a bit lost as to what is going on.
__________________
Anyone want to be friends on Facebook?
Send me your name via PM
My blog
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 01-19-2012, 03:49 PM
Icewraithonyx Icewraithonyx is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 63
Default

Wife and I consider our relationship a polyamorous one, even though I ID as monogamous.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 01-19-2012, 04:01 PM
BlackUnicorn's Avatar
BlackUnicorn BlackUnicorn is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 906
Default

(Thanks for merging the threads, mods!) Hmm, am I sensing here a "I/we don't want to break-up, but they/we don't really want to be together either, so maybe them having other partners will keep them from leaving me?" theme? Seriously, if your primary relationship is in trouble, introducing poly will only make matters worse.
__________________
Me: bi female in my twenties
Dating: Moonlightrunner
Metamour: Windflower
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 01-21-2012, 03:23 AM
redpepper's Avatar
redpepper redpepper is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,634
Default

Don't stay in this if you are mono, struggle with self worth and have a lot of past stuff to get through. Really. Mono/poly relationships are tricky to begin with for people with great self esteem. They can destroy people who don't. I seriously would be considering getting out and finding someone that is similar to me so as to work together on some of this stuff and NOT date others. Unless your partner is willing to work with you and not date or take on lovers for a VERY long time and until you have worked on yourself. Therapy sounds like a plan don't you think?
__________________
Anyone want to be friends on Facebook?
Send me your name via PM
My blog
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 09:43 PM.