What Will the Future Hold
Why I'm here: I'm a mono, my BF and I were casually poly until last year, when he fell in love and acquired a girlfriend. It's been a bumpy ride since they started seeing each other. I'm dealing with my feelings of jealousy, anger, plus my low sex drive at home (not with other guys, though).
When my BF and I talk calmly and logically, I have a positive attitude towards their relationship, the other GF (3rd) is allowed to come and sleep over at the house, etc. But when I'm not prepared and unexpected visits and plans occur, I get mad and jealous. I've expressed to the BF that I'd feel safe with this boundary and that boundary, but he's more loosey-goosey with plans. Unfortunately, we've fought so much that he's tired of following my requests and has decided to do whatever he wants with the 3rd. Which starts a never-ending cycle of fighting, of course.
I am seeing a counsellor who is poly-friendly, trying to get a handle on my jealousy and anger. It's really hard, though. All I can do is try. It feels like my BF doesn't care that I'm trying, that he's given up on us and only wants to be a couple with the 3rd. So I'm in complete distress. All I can do is try to move forward, try to make things better on my end.