the partner that is not being acknowledged as a lover is guaranteed to feel, I don't know... unworthy? Unwanted? Unloved? Like the person is ashamed of them?
No, it's not guaranteed. TGIB and I are out about our relationship to most of our friends (because if your friends can't accept you why bother being friends with them?) but almost NONE of our respective family members. We both have reasons for this, but it boils down to as much as we'd love to share the other with our family and to have them get to know this awesome and special person in our life, it's not worth the drama right now. Maybe it's something that can happen in the future, but maybe not. Ultimately, staying in the closet is BECAUSE we love each other- neither one of us wants to be the cause of strife in the other's family. And assuming I ever get a job again, with my chosen career I can NOT be out at work. And it's none of their business anyway.