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  #41  
Old 01-14-2012, 03:06 AM
ThatGirlInGray ThatGirlInGray is offline
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the partner that is not being acknowledged as a lover is guaranteed to feel, I don't know... unworthy? Unwanted? Unloved? Like the person is ashamed of them?
No, it's not guaranteed. TGIB and I are out about our relationship to most of our friends (because if your friends can't accept you why bother being friends with them?) but almost NONE of our respective family members. We both have reasons for this, but it boils down to as much as we'd love to share the other with our family and to have them get to know this awesome and special person in our life, it's not worth the drama right now. Maybe it's something that can happen in the future, but maybe not. Ultimately, staying in the closet is BECAUSE we love each other- neither one of us wants to be the cause of strife in the other's family. And assuming I ever get a job again, with my chosen career I can NOT be out at work. And it's none of their business anyway.
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  #42  
Old 01-14-2012, 05:02 AM
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SourGirl SourGirl is offline
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^^ Exactly what the smart girl in gray, said.

Generally, though not always, the 'coming out' tends to be in direct proportion, of what the people in question, have to lose. The more you have to lose, the longer you talk about it, and think on it.
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  #43  
Old 01-14-2012, 10:26 AM
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rory rory is offline
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Originally Posted by buttons View Post
I'm in a young poly relationship. All of my friends know that we are poly and that he is my primary. Some of his friends know that we're open and dating. I still get introduced as 'friend'. I hate it. I fully understand it, because we are not out to most people. And introducing me as gf would certainly put a damper on his chances with any new girl he might be interested in.
Seriously? That's the reason? I would so totally have a problem with that, too. Why would he even wnat to start up something with a person who has a problem with the fact that he has a gf?
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  #44  
Old 01-14-2012, 08:04 PM
Preia Preia is offline
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I cannot be out at work, at all... ever... Morality clauses suck, but I love my career. I grew up in a very rural area. Everybody was all up in everybody's business, and they would use any information they could to make not only your life he'll but your extended family's as well. I learned to value my privacy very very much.

Now, I have friends that I am out to, they make up my social life. I have no problem introducing partners to them as partners. I would probably not take anyone around my coworkers. I dont socialize with my coworkers anyway. My husband is the only one I have inflicted my family on. My other partners have politely declined to go to an area with no Internet, no cell phone service, and lots and lots of banjos. Actually, where I grew up makes Deliverance look civilized. I just have never been in a position to need to explain my relationship to anyone.
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