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Old 11-13-2009, 10:00 PM
Nzlovergirl's Avatar
Nzlovergirl Nzlovergirl is offline
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 15

No, see its not that it pissed me off at all. I was just surprised at how vehemently everyone was that there was absolutely no way a person can come to understand and integrate poly ideas into thier life.

I dont want him to change and he has said he doesnt want me to do that either. But i know for a fact that although a person can always feel a pull towards the poly lifestyle and then feel that they have been this way their whole lives, this person can still have a period of adjustment while they get their head around having to undo 25+ years of social conditioning.

When my husband first wanted to explore the poly lifestyle I ended up having a breakdown. I didnt understand what it meant for us. CRIKEY we had only been married a year and here he was (in my mind) telling me that i wasnt enough. HE wanted more, someone else to love, someone else to spend his precious time with.

WIth help, guidance to resources and understanding I was able to undo my conditioning. Sure, it took me almost 6 months. 6 months of almost constant break downs on my own, many questions and a little heartache. But then one day I clicked as to what polyamory meant for me and this is where I am today two years later. Sure, I still get jealous but now i know how to achknowlege it and find a way to get my needs met either by myself or by asking for it. I've learned how to ask for it and Ive learned how to respect my husband's time with his girlfriend..

So, perhaps you didnt have the "answers" i was looking for, but I was not happy with the almost instant: LEAVE HIM NOW... etc..

That? was not cool.
~:Loving life and loving many on this path:~
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