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  #1  
Old 01-12-2012, 12:43 AM
marksbabygirl marksbabygirl is offline
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Unhappy Love you but...

What do you do when you love someone you CAN'T have a relationship with?

UGH.

Can't as in HIS life doesn't allow for additional relationships and he's married.

Fucking bloody hell. Its not like I can avoid him either
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Old 01-12-2012, 01:51 AM
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ImaginaryIllusion ImaginaryIllusion is offline
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Nothing?

Unrequited love I'm pretty familiar with...I could make a career of barking up the wrong tree if someone would just pay me for it!

But yeah...just because you might want a relationship with someone, doesn't mean it would be right for them. Would it be ethical to force anything in such a circumstance?

So I do the only thing I can...carry on.
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Old 01-12-2012, 02:29 AM
marksbabygirl marksbabygirl is offline
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I suppose I know all that already.

Thanks for the reminder. I'll just keep on keeping on... smile and nod and do my best to lock my feelings up when he's around.
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Old 01-12-2012, 03:53 AM
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Does he know how you feel?
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Old 01-12-2012, 05:26 AM
marksbabygirl marksbabygirl is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
Does he know how you feel?
Kinda sorta. It's a long story. Today as I got off the phone with him he said "Love you" and I said it back but given our life, I don't know how he meant it...
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Old 01-12-2012, 09:12 AM
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Well then, he loves you, you love him... sounds like you can and do have a relationship with him, but as a friend and not a lover. I don't think it's your love you need to "lock up" -- it's the lust. I find that if I let myself enjoy the friendship for everything it gives me, eventually the lust dies down and isn't as overwhelming, which makes enjoying the attraction much easier and joyful.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 01-12-2012 at 09:20 AM.
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Old 01-12-2012, 10:55 AM
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Somegeezer Somegeezer is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Well then, he loves you, you love him... sounds like you can and do have a relationship with him, but as a friend and not a lover. I don't think it's your love you need to "lock up" -- it's the lust. I find that if I let myself enjoy the friendship for everything it gives me, eventually the lust dies down and isn't as overwhelming, which makes enjoying the attraction much easier and joyful.
+1
Sounds like that to me too. Been there plenty myself, I'm sure many of us have. =]
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Old 01-12-2012, 04:08 PM
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That's pretty much the deal with me and Sweetheart right now. Mutually acknowledged loving feelings and maybe, someday, we'll be able to meet and not have to feel like we are going behind his wife's back or something. It can still be wonderful and meaningful and yes, frustrating, but would you rather cut him out of your life completely?
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Old 01-12-2012, 04:12 PM
marksbabygirl marksbabygirl is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
...would you rather cut him out of your life completely?
There is no cutting him out of my life. Circumstances dictate that he will be in my life a LONG time.

I will just enjoy the time I get to spend with him and maintain a composure that is comfortable for all involved.

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Old 01-12-2012, 06:18 PM
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Castalia Castalia is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Well then, he loves you, you love him... sounds like you can and do have a relationship with him, but as a friend and not a lover. I don't think it's your love you need to "lock up" -- it's the lust. I find that if I let myself enjoy the friendship for everything it gives me, eventually the lust dies down and isn't as overwhelming, which makes enjoying the attraction much easier and joyful.

I am in a somewhat similar situation and I hope at some point to be able to follow nycindie's advice. Good luck
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