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Old 01-12-2012, 01:07 AM
Bells Bells is offline
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 13
Default Falling for a guy who is poly and a bit torn on the issue

So I knew straight from the get go this guy was poly, pretty much the first conversation we ever had was him explaining his relationships to me. I am pretty familiar with poly relationships, never really been in one though, I would describe what I have done as more of open relationships. While I have never been in a poly relationship it is something I am very open to the idea of and have actually tried to instigate it in a few past relationships.

Here is my dilemma. He is already very seriously involved with three other woman and while right now he is going tremendously out of his way to spend extra time with me and contacts me almost every day to at least say hello I am worried I might be the tipping point. Right now he has his relationships balanced, from everything I understand aside for the occasional little upsets everyone is getting when they want/need from everyone else. I don't want to be the girl to step into this and throw the balance off, 4 is a whole lot of relationships. I am also seeing other people, although nothing that is currently very serious, and just trying to keep this guy at arms length right now. I am afraid to become to emotionally invested, I do not have a history with him like these other woman do so I can imagine if things got sticky I would be the person who would need to step away.

Part of me says this is just a bad idea, the odds are really high I am going to get hurt and there is the possibility of me hurting other people already in his life. Another part of me says he has been doing this type of relationship a hell of a lot longer than me and knows what he can and cannot handle, so if he thinks I could fit into his life maybe there is space. He has never said anything along the lines of me being one to many, or that he is spreading himself to thin, but it is just my concern trying to objectively look at it.

I know that no one here can tell me what the right decision to make is here, but maybe I can get some advice and some realistic expectations. I have been enough relationships to know that there is defiantly a real spark between us. To the point that if I don't follow though with a relationship with him I still would want him to be part of my life as a good friend. Ack, just getting so frustrating, I finally meet someone I really click with and he has to be the most complicated man on earth lol.
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