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Old 01-02-2012, 11:36 PM
PolyInFL PolyInFL is offline
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Oldsmar, FL
Posts: 23
Question A crush on our neighbors!

I have a crush on our neighbors and not sure what to do with it.
My husband, 4 year old daughter and I recently moved from Wisconsin to Florida. We moved into our new house in August, as it turns out we moved in only 1 week after the neighbors did. They are a husband, wife and 2 girls close to my daughters age. We have hit it off immensely! In the past 5 months we have grown very close as friends. Wife and I talk a lot, our girls play together almost every day, husbands have gone golfing etc. We have also spent a lot of time together as a group (all family members) and have never had so much fun. My DH and I are open to poly, but have not put it much into practice due to moving a lot and the typical "how to find other poly people" issues. Our neighbors (I will call them Jose and her Saki) are originally from Spain and Japan, respectively. They have been in the US many years, but since their families are not here and they just moved from another city, we have bonded through our mutual "newness" to the area.

Okay, this is getting long so I will try to summarize better. I have thought what a great extended family we all would make and to my surprise, Saki told me that Jose wishes for that kind of lifestyle as well. He knew someone who grew up in a communal household. I have gotten my hopes up, I know. From their varied backgrounds, I even thought an alternative lifestyle might not shock them so much. However when, after a few glasses of wine, Saki and I were talking the other night I let it slip that DH and I are in an "open marriage" she needed me to explain. She had never heard the term polyamory etc. She was not shocked, but I did not get the sense that it is true of their marriage. Now I regret bringing it up so soon. I did NOT tell her that I am intensely attracted to Jose, or that I also have bi tendencies and would happily consider a physical relationship with both of them. The next day I told her I was embarrassed, she told me not to worry, that it would not change our (meaning all of us) relationship at all.

Damn. I would like to change it. But I knew it was unlikely that we would get so lucky as to find out they are poly as well. I think Jose's interest in a communal family does not extend to sexuality (a kernel of hope remains) but I do not want to scare them or make them uncomfortable by pushing the issue. No matter what, I don't want to lose their friendship.

I don't know if I am looking for advice, sympathy or cautious encouragement. But I would very much like to know what others think. Thank you!
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