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Old 12-31-2011, 03:34 AM
KindaPOd KindaPOd is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2011
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MeeraReed View Post
I'm having a hard time feeling sympathetic to your situation, KindaPOd.
Makes sense. Not the most sympathetic situation to be in.

Quote:
It sounds like you want to punish your wife for loving someone else for all these years, and reward your ex-girlfriend-now-primary-girlfriend for pining for you / loving only you for all these years.

Why don't you care about your wife's feeling? She loved both you and her boyfriend for many years, and tried to make it work with both of you. But you checked out as soon as you had your adoring ex-girlfriend back.
Probably a large element of truth in this interpretation.

I've never bought into the revenge angle. Can't remember if I made that clear earlier on in the thread. Not impossible that I'm just a vindictive asswipe. I just don't see it.

My gf moved on after our first breakup. If anything, there was a part of me that couldn't let go of her. I think it was guilt. You can do some stupid things when you're younger. And when you are older too. Guess that I wanted to make amends.

I care enough about my wife's feelings that I don't want to lead her on.

Not fully checked out of my marriage, but I actually don't know if I would've started a relationship with my gf, had our marriage not gotten into the shape that it's in.

Quote:
Originally Posted by dingedheart View Post
Not trying to hurt her ...just doesn't really care if it happens as a consequence of this dynamic that she created.
That's not entirely true. Not hard to figure out that my wife is putting herself through the wringer for me. Don't really know how I can stop her at this point.

If you've ever been in a situation where your SO(s) were more into you than you were into them...it's not that great.
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Tags
hierarchy, marriage vs. polyamory, primary, secondaries, secondary, trust issues

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