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  #31  
Old 11-11-2009, 05:29 PM
Fidelia Fidelia is offline
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I concur with Mono. Well stated, Bro.
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  #32  
Old 11-11-2009, 05:38 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Originally Posted by Fidelia View Post
I concur with Mono. Well stated, Bro.
I had a good breakfast..my brain function is at an all time high
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  #33  
Old 11-11-2009, 06:45 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post

I imagined myself in your shoes with a partner like Legion (no offence intended Legion, this has nothing to do with judgement, I just wanted to see if I could relate to her circumstances). I didn't last a minute LOL!
That's what empathy is and you SUCK at it!

(in a good way though)
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  #34  
Old 11-11-2009, 06:54 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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That's what empathy is and you SUCK at it!

(in a good way though)
Haha...I think....ummm...thanks...I think
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  #35  
Old 11-11-2009, 07:13 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
Haha...I think....ummm...thanks...I think
You're good at sympathy though. I should have said that in my last post.

Anyway, I was just fooling around. The whole sympathy vs. empathy thing...

As you were!
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  #36  
Old 11-12-2009, 03:25 AM
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Legion Legion is offline
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Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
sorry, I'm a bit confused... you two are broken up, yet you are working on this like a couple not broken up.... why? because of history?...

Legion, I was lead to believe by other posts that you are a free spirit that just wants to have lots of girlfriends... I'm all for lots of girlfriends. I don't think it means that at the end of ones life there is a feeling of having been loved and that makes me sad, but what the heck, I don't think everyone has that goal in mind anyway. I also think that eventually many women will get hurt as, it seems to me, that as we age we tend to want to settle more and the women that you may date might have this in mind and be hurt by your free spirit. I was considering this when I read the hurt that NYX was going through. She seems to be a woman that wants to settle into something long term, close to home and good for a family style relationship. Sooooo, what are you two working towards....???? That may be the first step in communicating.

Legion forgive me if I am surprised that you actually have some depth! and actually are willing to work on this. Even if you aren't getting back together, it will be beneficial in the long run anyways..

good luck you two...
My stance on Nyx and I's "relationship or lack therof" is that I feel the same way about her (more or less) now that we are "apart" than I did not so long ago when we were "together". Or years ago when we weren't even in communication, she still had this place in my heart, even if the exact way I perceived her and felt about her wasn't the same as it was yesterday, two weeks ago, four months go or a year ago.

We are in a relationship. Whether it is committed, sexual, romantic, fulfilling, healthy, physical and/or intimate is and has been in a state of flux since we first met.

My life could end tomorrow and I feel that I have been loved. Truly, deeply to an extent which has satisfied me greatly. I have just started to find a new depth to my own and other people's love, but I don't discount the value of the love that I have received/given simply because it is impermanent.

Things that are true in a moment are forever true in that moment, whatever else happens along the space/time continuum.

I know that women have been hurt, and I have been hurt and filled with doubt. I am trying to be clear and I see an ideal that I have yet to achieve. I keep dreaming and trying and stumbling along the way.
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Often he had been often bound with fetters and chains, and the chains had been rent asunder by him, and the fetters broken in pieces: neither could any man tame him...and he asked him, What is thy name? And he answered, saying, My name is Legion: for we are many.
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  #37  
Old 11-12-2009, 04:55 AM
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Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
NYX,

I think you simply are not poly, or poly relationship capable at least not in the approach Legion takes to poly (again no offence…people have different ideas of poly..that’s why I actually am coming to despise the word, it means fuck all, open relationship is at least understandable…sorry..tangent.)

I truly think you should focus on your friendship and the type of connection that works for you. Don’t lose the friendship you have in trying to salvage the love you want.
I agree that I am not poly-capable in the way Legion approaches it. Obviously I am a lot more exclusive and strict in my preferences. But I have my own separate relationships on the side of all this that I am gaining more ground on and I am coming to realize that because I feel capable of loving (at least this one) other man as well as Legion, I tend to disagree about my ability to possibly have poly relationships at some time in the future.

I may not be able to be with this other man because of his situation, but he and I feel love and tenderness for each other and that's all that matters right now. We are very close emotionally, even though it is not possible to be so physically. I have not been physical with L for over a month. Though at first it really bothered me, I have come to know about myself that I don't need to have sex with someone to feel an intensity towards them, to feel love and closeness.
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  #38  
Old 11-12-2009, 07:27 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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On a side note-you two obviously have a history and it sounds like you don't want to be ENEMIES.
So practice the communication technique. It works famously whether you are intimate partners, friends, coworkers or even just acquaintances.
People OFTEN misconstrue what another means and if the person speaking is important to you OR the info they are sharing is important to you, it's imperative to ensure you comprehend it!

Practice it. I'm not saying it will create a dynamic that makes you two compatible as lovers. But it will undoubtedly improve your understanding of one another which is a great benefit in ANY relationship!
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