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Old 12-27-2011, 10:28 PM
skyfire322 skyfire322 is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 6
Default One night stand vs. Poly?

Hey guys! This is my first thread here... I'm not sure if the title of the thread is correct, but I'm curious to see what your take on a situation I'm dealing with at the moment. My girlfriend and I have been poly for about a year now. We have gotten our feet wet, but have never jumped in completely, because there just hasn't been anyone who's interested, per se.

She started talking to someone online a few months ago. He seemed like a pretty cool guy, so I started talking to him as well just to pick his brain, since we had a lot in common, although there were many red flags going up from the beginning. As the weeks progressed, I found out that he's a flirt by nature and that he's done the same sort of thing (flirting to the point of 'let's meet', then losing interest completely). I also found out from other people who have been in contact with him, for lack of a better term, sucked in, and that he's a compulsive liar. She even said she has lost some trust in him.

He had told both her and I that he's not comfortable being in a poly relationship, and really had no romantic interest in her. One day he said that once I'm out of the picture and once his divorce goes through, he plans on pursuing a romantic endeavour with her. He's visiting NYC (about three hours from where we live) this summer and she wants to go down and meet him. We sat down one night, and she told me that when she goes down, she'll probably have sex with him.

Here's where the problem lies... We agreed that if one person in the primary isn't comfortable or doesn't trust the outsider, nothing would happen. However, she's dead set on meeting him. I have no problem with them meeting as friends, but knowing the type of guy he is and what his intentions are, and I kind of have a feeling that she'll throw everything out the window and just do what she wants.

With all of that being said, do you think that one night stands can be included in the same circle as polyamory?
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