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  #11  
Old 11-11-2009, 03:37 AM
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Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post

IF you feel that kissing is NOT included in "sexual relations" per se but IS included in "dating, meeting people, getting numbers" that needs to FOR SURE be stated up front-but it's ok too.

In our case-that whole kissing thing-not cool. Maca considers kissing an exchange of emotion and caring-and that isn't something he's ok with being shared with ANYONE. I get that. So if I met a guy (or girl)-before it got to a kiss-yes I would feel the need to talk to Maca.

there are kisses and then there are kisses....
It's all about where your mind is at, whether you are holding hands, kissing or just text messaging..... at least imho
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  #12  
Old 11-11-2009, 03:43 AM
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My pattern has been to tell a prospective partner that I want an open relationship, to detail what I mean by an open relationship and then act in a manner consistent with my stated intentions.

How can I use these incidents to be a better partner?
I've been leaving it up to Nyx or whomever my partner is to tell me when they are so uncomfortable about a situation or to let me know when they "can't take it anymore" and want out of the relationship. Maybe I shoud start to take the initiative and say "I don't think we're compatible."

I want the freedom and trust of a partner to whom I can say something to the effect "I may flirt or otherwise interact with other women; I will let you know if any of these get to a point where I think there is a possiblity it could blossom into an actual romantic love interest." and have her trust me.
It is important for poly people ESPECIALLY so to take FULL responsibility not only for our own issues-but also for things we KNOW to be true even if they aren't TECHNICALLY "our responsibility".
I believe that there is a whole article about that posted (in a link) on here relatively recently. Don't recall if it was in Ceoli's thread or Seventh... but it's here somewhere!
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Old 11-11-2009, 03:47 AM
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LR- you mentioned a "please understand me" thread or test or something on the other post but I did a search and don't know where to go.. may I have a link?
Sorry-It's not a thread (there is a thread about it but I'm not sure what it's called) it's a book.
I don't use facebook-but I know that some of the people here found part of the test on facebook.

The book is "please understand me" and it's about personalities..
I'll look for a link... be back in a few. ....
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Old 11-11-2009, 03:50 AM
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Default COPIED from internet

http://keirsey.com/default.aspx

It looks like you MIGHT be able to do the test online at that link. Not sure.
Here's a brief summary of the book I copied.

PLEASE UNDERSTAND ME
Temperament Character Intelligence
David Keirsey

If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummerLet him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away ~ Henry David Thoreau

Price $15.95 To order call (800) 754-0039 or (858) 509-7728
An International bestseller!
For ordering online with Amazon books and customer reviews
For ordering online with Amazon.co.uk (United Kingdom)

Phenomenon: Keirsey and Bates's Please Understand Me, first published in 1978, sold nearly 2 million copies in its first 20 years, becoming a perennial best seller all over the worldAdvertised only by word of mouth, the book became a favorite training and counseling guide in many institutions -- government, church, business -- and colleges across the nation adopted it as an auxiliary text in a dozen different departmentsWhy? Perhaps it was the user-friendly way that Please Understand Me helped people find their personality stylePerhaps it was the simple accuracy of Keirsey's portraits of temperament and character typesOr perhaps it was the book's essential message: that members of families and institutions are OK, even though they are fundamentally different from each other, and that they would all do well to appreciate their differences and give up trying to change others into copies of themselves

Now: Please Understand Me II

For the past twenty years Keirsey has continued to investigate personality differences -- to refine his theory of the four temperaments and to define the facets of character that distinguish one from another His findings form the basis of Please Understand Me II, an updated and greatly expanded edition of the book, far more comprehensive and coherent than the original, and yet with much of the same easy accessibilityOne major addition is Keirsey's view of how the temperaments differ in the intelligent roles they are most likely to developEach of us, he says, has four kinds of intelligence -- tactical, logistical, diplomatic, strategic -- though one of the four interests us far more than the others, and thus gets far more practice than the restLike four suits in a hand of cards, we each have a long suit and a short suit in what interests us and what we do well, and fortunate indeed are those whose work matches their skillsAs in the original book, Please Understand Me II begins with The Keirsey Temperament Sorter, the most used personality inventory in the worldBut also included is The Keirsey Four-Types Sorter, a new short questionnaire that identifies one's basic temperament and then ranks one's second, third, and fourth choicesShare this new sorter with friends and family, and get set for a lively and fascinating discussion of personal styles
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Old 11-11-2009, 03:54 AM
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there are kisses and then there are kisses....
It's all about where your mind is at, whether you are holding hands, kissing or just text messaging..... at least imho
My opinion is similar. But Maca's is not.
I personally can't imagine finding kissing as personal as he does compared to some OTHER things. BUT that's ok. That's HIM.

It's irrelevant to our situation at the moment. I already HAVE a bf and am not in a position to deal with another additional partner. So it makes no difference to me FOR NOW.

But I grasp the importance of KNOWING what the rules are either way.
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Old 11-11-2009, 04:00 AM
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But Maca's is not.
I personally can't imagine finding kissing as personal as he does compared to some OTHER things. BUT that's ok. That's HIM.

WOW! Me and Maca are so similar. I find kissing to be the most intimate act..you may as well drop your pants and fuck because the affect is the same for me...It's too bad me and Maca are straight and I'm mono...we'd make a good couple
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  #17  
Old 11-11-2009, 04:26 AM
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Default Hysterical!

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Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
WOW! Me and Maca are so similar. I find kissing to be the most intimate act..you may as well drop your pants and fuck because the affect is the same for me...It's too bad me and Maca are straight and I'm mono...we'd make a good couple
OMG LAUGHING SO HARD.
I am WELL aware how much you are alike. That's TOO funny!!!
Someday I hope we can meet you-it's too crazy talking to someone who talks so much like Maca!!!!
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  #18  
Old 11-11-2009, 04:29 AM
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Someday I hope we can meet you-it's too crazy talking to someone who talks so much like Maca!!!!
Nothing is beyond the realm of possibility...accept for me "converting"
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  #19  
Old 11-11-2009, 04:37 AM
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Nothing is beyond the realm of possibility...accept for me "converting"
I can't imagine what I would think if you changed from being just who you are! You have had such a wonderful impact on our lives even though you are just a name in a computer! We're reading that book by the way! It's AWESOME!
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  #20  
Old 11-11-2009, 04:44 AM
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I can't imagine what I would think if you changed from being just who you are! You have had such a wonderful impact on our lives even though you are just a name in a computer! We're reading that book by the way! It's AWESOME!
Glad to hear it!!...take care
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