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Old 12-20-2011, 09:10 PM
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Phy Phy is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Germany
Posts: 604
Default Catching up on the latest developements

I noticed that there are many topics we discussed or things that just happened which I never got the time to mention up to now. I will try to catch up on that.

Worrying:
First of all: Success! I was able to not think any further than the directly given answer I received after asking if everything was OK. *cheers herself on* Yeay I went on a walk with Sward and noticed that he has been feeling a bit off the evening before (he was cuddly) and asked if something was on his mind. He said “No, everything is alright.” And I didn't gave in to asking if that was really what he wanted to tell me. *looks proud* I am getting better with this stuff.

Pictures:
And as well in regard to the topics of the latest posts: I uploaded some pictures to spare me the effort to do any more personal description in vain … When I was done answering to Carma they both asked me what I was skipping back and forth the net for (too many words I had to look up actually to write even three sentences fluently ). both shook their heads and suggested I should just upload some pics, that would be much easier. So true. So, we are now saying 'Hi' officially with some faces coming along with the names you already know.

Bed:
Lin's bed was getting on our nerves since the day he bought it. The head piece had some loose pieces of metal in it and it clanged, rattled and creaked a bit every time we moved. Lin and Sward fixed it by welding the pieces. Finally peace at night

Tenancy changeover:
In regard to our plans to add some patter of tiny feet to our everyday life in the upcoming years, we talked about how much sense it would make to renovate our flat now. How long we are going to use it and when we would have to move out because of the lack of space. There would be a nearly perfect apartment right above us btw But we decided that we could live in this flat for the next three years and therefore made concrete plans how the first steps for the redecoration and refurbishment. But those plans were delayed by all of us getting ill …

Illness:
I was the first to catch an inflammation of the throat. It got worse and I got the flue. With slight symptoms of stomach flu. Sward was the second one to fall ill. He was the first one to feel better as well. But then it hit Lin. He has quite a delicate condition and though he just got a common cold, it took him up to today to get better. He has had fever till yesterday. I was really worried because to my mind any illness he catches can mean trouble. He hates that I am this worried during that times, but I can hardly stop. If his condition would worsen ever, he could simply die. I can't get something like that off my mind in those moments.

Frustration:
This point went hand in hand with the health problems. Yesterday evening would have been a night I was going to spend with Lin. But he was so weak and tired that he went to bed early. I asked him if he would like to sleep alone or if I should come over later. He said it would be the same to him. I was a bit upset by this answer. Why no clear answer if he wanted to have company or not? And why this indifference? Displease frowning, take one. I asked again, pointing out that I would love to hear a personal opinion on the theme. Answer: “Well, yes of course you can come over and stay with me tonight. But I will sleep early and I am sweaty and so on.” Still no personal utterance if he wants/needs me with him. Very impatiently frowning on my part. “I want to know if you WANT me to be there!” 'Why is she getting so worked up' is written all over his face while he said “But of course I want you to spend the night with me, why shouldn't I?” Sigh …

The difference between Lin and me is that I need someone to be there to comfort me when I am ill. (I think I wrote about that already.) He has been ill most of his life, he is used to handle this by himself. I completely misinterpreted his self-dependence as a sign of indifference. While all he had on his mind were practical aspects for my benefit. Lastly I stayed with Sward that evening but I recognized how frustrated I got. It was the second night in row where I couldn't sleep next to Lin and he has slept most of the days as well. I was missing him and I noticed that I got egoistical as well. He needed a good night's rest to get well again and all I was able to think about was that I wanted to snuggle. When I realized my problem, I got even more frustrated … Sometimes I really don't like my neediness and demanding character.

I will cover the other points the next time I am able to write more, I am still not done with the my list ^.^
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Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.

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