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  #21  
Old 11-10-2009, 08:57 PM
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I really think we kinda grok about the whole total disclosure thing.
we kinda "grok?" sorry, I don't get it
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  #22  
Old 11-10-2009, 10:26 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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we kinda "grok?" sorry, I don't get it
I guess you don't "grok" then.

It's Heinlein slang for "Wow I totally get it dude".
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  #23  
Old 11-11-2009, 03:41 AM
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Beatbox, I would add to my list your 2 and 5 and a variation of your 3. Thanks for those reminders.
That's great. I'm glad you feel that way, makes me feel we are on the right track with this.

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Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I would agree entirely on knowing who my husband is involved with. That way we can talk about them and his situation.

I have a thing about knowing who is touching him. It makes me feel closer to them somehow so why would I not want to know who I feel closer to. Does that make sense?
I guess I feel that there should be some space given to the new relationship and that perhaps the details could be left out. I can understand more in a vague, general disclosure maybe. But, the truth is, she will ask regardless. I think her curiosity will get the better of her on most anyone I date. I know her well.

This evening I went to see if I could get the number of that waitress, whose name I found out. The whole thing felt odd, mostly because I'm out of practice and this was kind of a bold move on my part...for me at least.

Now, here is a situation where I'm never going to meet this person anywhere else. I see her and I'm attracted to her, so do I just let it go?.....No I go back the next day, sit, have a drink and talk to the people around me. She sees me again and so at some point I just ask the bartender to give her my number.

Well, the approach seemed reasonable at the moment.

But now I'm thinking, what if she calls? How do I explain this whole thing to her? When do I tell her? That kind of thing....I will read around for some answers.
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  #24  
Old 11-11-2009, 03:47 AM
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Holy crap you poly people got your work cut out for you

Sometimes I just roll my eyes and laugh at all the stuff we talk about on here lol!

They could definitely make a show about our lives..but not "The Family"...apparently it makes us look like dorks to mainstream relationship practitioners
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  #25  
Old 11-11-2009, 04:21 AM
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You seem to at least want to have the answers people are looking for. Perhaps you have graduated to a degree that you can look around at us, or just me, and find these things amusing

Like watching a pet search around in new territory can be both interesting and funny because they haven't discovered all the surprises yet. I should think you have it pretty put together over there.....

I'm freakin 33 years old and I feel like a kid again now that our playground went from the swing, to monkey bars, a slide, a tire swing, and, well you get the point.

If the show were going to be any good it would have to be on Skinamax. Anything less would be a disservice. HBO has Big Love Showtime Californication and while that's not the same thing, there is hardly room on those channels for a poly show......But I do agree. You can play the lead character Mono.

Last edited by beatbox151; 11-11-2009 at 04:24 AM.
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  #26  
Old 11-11-2009, 04:26 AM
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You can play the lead character Mono.

No leading character here! I'm a professional "secondary". I'm most comfortable as a supporting actor LOL!

Redpepper is going to give me shit for saying that...
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  #27  
Old 11-11-2009, 08:53 AM
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he just thinks he is secondary... I don't know how many times I have to tell him!
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  #28  
Old 11-11-2009, 08:57 AM
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It does feel strange beatbox... I think women have it a lot more easy. They just kind of announce that they are free and men come to them. I feel bad for all you men on the dating scene. Especially Poly dating!!! geesh, hard work. Still, try and enjoy it. You sound like you are! Remember you are not alone and have your wife to talk to and muse about the whole thing with... she could give you some points on what she think would work and what your strong points are that should be brought forward. This seemed to help my husband. I thought he was the cutest thing ever when he was dating a lot. My problem was not following behind him to yell at his date that they better treat him right or I would be after them! I am so protective over my men
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  #29  
Old 11-11-2009, 09:54 AM
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Default Beat & Pepper

Beat:
I just want you to know, I'm your age, and this is AS new. Maybe a week. But I've embraced that attitude almost instantly. I am as happy as can be right now. This will work out and be grand and yes, I've already grown in many ways since I found an ideal that worked for me and my wife.

Furthermore, I think the search for another will just be as meaningful and fun, although it will have some extreme lows along with the rollercoaster ride of Highs.

And Red Pepper:
You are absolutely right in that regard, worse yet, most of the people that I know that I have suspicions about them being poly are, but they are single or at least have no kids. (Then again, almost none of my friends really have kids or they're not at home anymore.)
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  #30  
Old 11-11-2009, 12:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
It does feel strange beatbox... I think women have it a lot more easy. They just kind of announce that they are free and men come to them. I feel bad for all you men on the dating scene. Especially Poly dating!!! geesh, hard work. Still, try and enjoy it. You sound like you are! Remember you are not alone and have your wife to talk to and muse about the whole thing with... she could give you some points on what she think would work and what your strong points are that should be brought forward. This seemed to help my husband. I thought he was the cutest thing ever when he was dating a lot. My problem was not following behind him to yell at his date that they better treat him right or I would be after them! I am so protective over my men
Well, my wife thinks I should be up front with everyone I date right off the bat. And I agree from an ethical point of view. However, from a probability POV I think I should give it some time. Let them get to know me. Decide whether or not I am someone they like, then tell them.

Two schools of thought, and the 3rd option.....don't tell them....which is neither practical nor ethical. Disaster would soon follow. I prefer to keep things civil.

And pepper, I appreciate you acknowledging this about the males having their work cut out for them. It may get rough and maybe even lonely.

Perhaps this girl will call me, maybe not. She didn't last night, but it was not unexpected seeing as how I had no "IN".
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