I'd like to thank the writers on this thread. You are all excellent communicators and helped have open communication where both myself and my wife got to express ourselves.
Anyway, from my experience i realized that it really is important to get your emotions under control and express yourself in a way the allows your partner to respond in a way the comes from within them. This means no blaming. If he or she can respond to your content and not your current emotional state your on the right track. Saying "i feel like" instead of "you..." allow the other person explain and not defend.