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  #1161  
Old 12-08-2011, 07:48 AM
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Enjoyed the lovin' today for my birthday. I'm a happy and tired lady. Relaxed for the first time in weeks today too as a result. Now back to the grind tomorrow, but I arranged to take three days off at the end of next week and into the following week so as to re-coup.
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  #1162  
Old 12-11-2011, 08:46 PM
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I did it! I sang and it went well and I can breath easy for a sec until I start to panic about how much time left until the show on Saturday for burlesque! Off to practice my tassel twirling. I made some holiday ones with bells on the end. Gotta be a kink for that!

Leo was in the paper this week for the opening of his new store. So proud of him. I see him much more often on the fly as his store is near my job.

Derby has been busy and occupied with her life, but we talk daily and last night got some smooching in with the help of a lime and prompting by an audience at the party we were at.

PN is in thick with his university course, but we spend time together daily chatting and taking a moment to connect.

Mono and I are spending our time in each others company but doing our own thing more; me burlesque, him well, who knows what he does, lol. Something on line and to do with his computer.

LB got his report card and aced everything. He is one happy boy. So loved and supported. Our efforts are paying off in terms of the time we have taken to ensure he gets the attention he needs.

Poly family rock!
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  #1163  
Old 12-12-2011, 07:07 AM
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Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I did it! I sang and it went well and I can breath easy for a sec until I start to panic about how much time left until the show on Saturday for burlesque! Off to practice my tassel twirling. I made some holiday ones with bells on the end. Gotta be a kink for that!
You sang incredibly Beautiful and based on my sneak peek of your show it's going to be a great night of tassle spinning burlesque!
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  #1164  
Old 12-12-2011, 12:23 PM
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I have a few more days to practice, practice, practice.
And thats what makes the difference, not "talent", whatever that is anyway.

Well done!
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  #1165  
Old 12-12-2011, 07:44 PM
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And thats what makes the difference, not "talent", whatever that is anyway.

Well done!
True enough bassman, thank you
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  #1166  
Old 12-15-2011, 07:47 PM
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I'm having balancing act issues lately. I managed to sort some of them out as I got to spend a little time with PN last night (*wink, wink), but I haven't had a proper date with Derby in awhile and the dates I have with Mono are kinda, well, fun, but rushed and consumed with other things sometimes. PN has been busy with his course, its a busy time of year and no one is benefiting from my having two shows within the space of a week. I'm totally consumed.

I have seen Leo at his store, but our once a month dates are turning into every six weeks. I also am concerned that now he owns a store that he won't be available for our camping trips and that his wife is bored of them anyway and would prefer not to go. LB asked the other day if it is possible to go to a local ski mountain with them this winter, but it isn't. We used to do so much together as a family and now we are slowly not. It makes me sad.

I have also been missing my old intimate friend lately. I drove by his place a few days ago and a week or so before that... not on purpose, but as its on a regular route for me. I think of him at least once a week still. I always have. I feel used by him now and really hurt. I know I need to let it go. He was not invested in me and has sex for sex sake whereas I do not... but I am attached now and that is always going to be.

I also heard from another ex a couple of weeks ago. I talked about him a lot when I first came here as he has a different view of communication than I do and his idea of strength has nothing to do with emotion whereas mine is almost entirely based on that. He saw me on line on FB and said hi. After a conversation of about an hour he came out as female now. He's going through hormone therapy and is getting involved with local groups. I was excited for her, because I know a few of the people she is now meeting. This time I will keep my mouth shut about the communication differences we had as last time I discovered a friend of mine was chatting to her I mentioned this difference between us and it blew up in my face. Lesson learned.. let people find their own path with people I have experienced. It was great to be in touch again and I am honoured that they would share something so meaningful. It has made it so I can let go of the residual feelings I had of hurt from that situation.
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  #1167  
Old 12-18-2011, 02:57 AM
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It has made it so I can let go of the residual feelings I had of hurt from that situation.
I'm glad to hear this Love
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  #1168  
Old 12-19-2011, 08:09 AM
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What a crazy weekend I'm home free until vaca time. All stressful performances out of the way. I did it! Feeling proud and relieved. I was so thankful to be on stage last night looking out over my dear loves and a great group of friends. We all went out for poutine afterwards and chatted and laughed into the night. I woke up today still tired and achy and feeling the come down of all the work I have done.

Next up is crazy celebrations and events. Friday started it up with a surprise birthday party for me put on by my friend who bought me all the fixin's for eggnog martinis.... 1oz vodka, 1oz amaretto, 2oz eggnog. So good and goes down way to easy. We ended up putting all her clothes on and doing a little catwalk dance. I tugged along this woman that I only met once at a friends party who's husband take no interest in her any more. I gave her a lesson on walking with confidence and we all dolled her up and put some body enhancing clothing on her. She looked fantastic! She walked out with confidence and sure enough he didn't look once! Turns out later when I told Mono of the event that her husband hates her and is only with her because he is afraid of loosing everything. Very sad. It made me very sad, the whole thing... I came out to her and told her about how she could be loved and cherished and so could he and that its all possible, but really, was it? All I saw was doom and for no good reason other than they are both very damaged by now.

Tonight I went out with PN to his child hood best friends birthday party. I swear PN married the female version of his friend when he married me. We are so alike. PN wanted to leave about a half hour after we got there but I kept at it. We never hang out with this guy any more and he was so thrilled that we were there. When we left he complained to PN that he never returns his calls and that it had me who got him there. He told me to keep kicking his butt. He never did understand how introverted PN is and how uninterested in social events such as that he is.

Today we had a family meeting. Sat and had coffee in the living room and discussed the weeks plans. I am at work and the men and boy are off on holidays. We got the google calendar out, and our "do lists" and set a plan where by everyone had there part. I was grateful because I was feeling the pressure to do a lot of tasks, planning, cooking, baking, and present wrapping for the season.

Mono has just put a new floor in in our kitchen. Its beautiful. He has been such a great help and we all love him. PN is as grateful as I am even though it was like pulling teeth to get him to commit to spending some money. I got us a huge deal and Mono did the work. It was well worth it.

This week will be hard. Its all work related and confidential for now. I look forward to next Friday already. I will need the break by then.
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  #1169  
Old 12-24-2011, 02:11 AM
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Onwards to the holidays. Week from hell just ended and all I want is family, friends and lots of laughs. I hope I can pull that off with my sister in law coming and a whole lot of expectations placed on me. I wish my men understood the latter part of that more. Alas they don't. They think I should shrug it off, walk away and do what I want. Sometimes I feel entirely misunderstood and alone. Sometimes so under appreciated. Sometimes I just want to be alone, pack my bag and leave them all.... work included. This caregiver has officially reached compassion fatigue. The only thing left to do is help myself... right after this stupid Christmas thing. I'm hoping it won't use me up completely. BAH, I've been here before, I don't let that happen.
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  #1170  
Old 12-24-2011, 02:20 AM
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*HUGS*!

Where's that mistletoe?

:grins:
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