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  #51  
Old 11-09-2009, 09:28 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Originally Posted by leeandlouise View Post
On a good note, we went to a party at a club this past Saturday and our waitress actually responded positively to me when I explained our marriage and how it works. She willingly took my info but I didn't end up getting hers. Maybe I made my first "dating" mistake. We'll see ... I'm old enough to be her dad anyway, she probably just thinks I'm an old perv. But, it's fun to be able to at least dream about it and not feel the guilt. My wife thinks I'm a kook.
Your wife is a very astute person.

You tried to hit on a WAITRESS?

I don't know you and I don't know the waitress, but people who work in restaurants have seen it ALL. The only reason she "willingly" took your info was because in HER mind, her tip depends on being "nice" to the CUSTOMER.

You = Customer.
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  #52  
Old 11-09-2009, 09:28 PM
leeandlouise leeandlouise is offline
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yeah, probably.
But I did ask her if she'd be interested in dating? She "said" she would, who knows?
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  #53  
Old 11-09-2009, 09:31 PM
leeandlouise leeandlouise is offline
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that was after the tip portion.
But I am a big tipper. I've worked that kind of job in the past, I know.
Anyway, we were there early because of a private party, so she sat with us for about 45 minutes before the club actually opened. I wasn't just making a random hit. We had some history! ha
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  #54  
Old 11-09-2009, 09:36 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Originally Posted by leeandlouise View Post
that was after the tip portion.
But I am a big tipper. I've worked that kind of job in the past, I know.
Anyway, we were there early because of a private party, so she sat with us for about 45 minutes before the club actually opened. I wasn't just making a random hit. We had some history! ha
More power to ya, slugger!
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  #55  
Old 11-09-2009, 09:44 PM
leeandlouise leeandlouise is offline
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The "ha" meant, "I'm a joke"
you're right, she just wanted the money. I'm just giving all this a try for the 1st time in over 18 years. My wife has her man, I've got nothing, not even a hopeful. But, it's OK. Maybe someone will like me sometime, maybe they won't.
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  #56  
Old 11-09-2009, 09:52 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Originally Posted by leeandlouise View Post
The "ha" meant, "I'm a joke"
you're right, she just wanted the money. I'm just giving all this a try for the 1st time in over 18 years. My wife has her man, I've got nothing, not even a hopeful. But, it's OK. Maybe someone will like me sometime, maybe they won't.
Hey, who am I to rain on your parade!

The more lines you put out, the more likely you are to catch a fish (or someone's old shoe)!
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  #57  
Old 11-10-2009, 04:23 AM
Manno Manno is offline
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Default So tonight...

I meet with Ms. "What is a gal like me going to get out of dating a married man like you?"

I guess this is just the first time that I'm interacting with her since things went cold and I'm not certain how it is going to go down.

This is an odd one. I didn't figure I'd get so worked up about this tonight. But... Here I am, with things to take care of tonight, and she wants to meet for a moment. I have to admit I'm a little confused, but then again she might simply be dropping by to pick up something and be on her way. And then I'm just making a big deal out of nothing.

Truth is, while I have no strong feelings against her, as my wife pointed out when we talked about this tonight, S pulled the "chicken switch" on me. Chicken switch as in that she was all fine and dandy when I propositioned her, as she was caught up in the moment, the attraction, and the flirtation, but she soon realized something wasn't right and told me she doesn't think she could become involved with me.

Now I do know that I'd like to still hang out with her, which might just be what we're doing tonight, but I guess I'm wondering what will come of that now that we've openly knocked out a lot of barriers, but now are just friends. I'm still attracted to her physically, which is why I didn't pursue a platonic relationship with her in the first place... and now that's exactly what this might have become.

On another note, I am really excited about the girl I met this weekend, but she's going to be busy all this week and weekend. We've made tentative plans for next week, and I honestly want to just want to fast forward to that time to see how that date unravels. Very fun and very receptive to my perspective. However, we've corresponded briefly today.

Damn you patience!
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  #58  
Old 11-10-2009, 09:31 AM
Manno Manno is offline
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Default Okay, so it went well.

Highlights:

Platonic relationship with S, lots of good talking, learned that she is pursing a monogamous relationship with a guy she was considering breaking up with but reconsidered. She hinted that if that didn't work out that something else might happen with us, and I'm thinking, "So you're gonna string me along?"

Pinnacle of the night:
Wife texts then calls me as I'm telling S goodbye. My wife asks, "Is it okay for me to come home now."

I reply, "yes" and curiously ask, "well, where are you?"

"In the driveway."
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  #59  
Old 11-10-2009, 07:33 PM
Manno Manno is offline
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Default Another nugget of humor from yesterday evening

So my wife came home as S was walking out of the door, so after S left, we talked for about an hour, which was amazing. We talked about a few issues, especially the ones covered by S during my night's conversation.

We came upon a topic that S brought up: What happens when people see me or A out on a date.

Amy then shared how she did see a friend of hers from my daughter's school out one night while she was with J. Instead of allowing her friend to skirt around the issue as was her intention and simply not go there, A brought it up directly and informed her that she does not go to that specific place with me, but instead goes there with J only. Apparently it clued her friend in, who simply nodded and smiled and said...

"Ah... Keeping it fresh."
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  #60  
Old 11-11-2009, 10:50 AM
Manno Manno is offline
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Default Update

A few things I guess are on my mind.

My wife and I were first and foremost friends. We were for several years before we dated and we talked about the most intricate of things about our relationships with other people. Now, I find myself extremely interested in the success of her emotional tie in her other relationship. I don't want to know any physical details, although part of our original idea is that we can share anything about our other relationships, but I just don't need to know that anymore. But then again, J is a friend of mine. I just hope that I'm not really butting in all the time.

S's visit over last night while my wife was out was really fun, but again, I'm feeling now that I could be okay about it being completely platonic. However, I'm really puzzled about it. S came over last night to pick up earrings and she wound up staying over three hours. There was nothing physical, but she gave that "string me along if this doesn't work out" comment (not her exact words, but implied).

I'm not so sure how I feel about her now that she waffled on me pretty bad. I'm not condemning her actions, but they were pretty rough on my psyche and I don't know how I can take future touch and go, red light-green light experiences with her. She also is looking for a mate in a monogamous relationship, and while she's told me she doesn't want me to be "Mr. Right Now," but she is implying instead, Mr. Later On, all the while she tells me this would really not go anywhere.

To complicate the matter with her, she told me when she turned me down that she was hoping to try to mend her current relationship, which was currently in a bad spot. This is where the stringing along comment was made. (something to the extent of, well, if I wasn't dating this guy, I probably would not have turned you down. proceeded and followed directly with, I don't know if we're going to work out)

Now the guy she's seeing has baaaaaaaaad jealousy issues. Anyway, so yesterday she told me that she'd be seeing him tonight and they were going to see how things worked out. And at 12:30 she texted me, "So, that's over."

So while I've been joking about the string you along comment, and maybe I'm making a big deal out of nothing, I'm wondering if she's going to change her mind again on me.

Making matters worse in this I am also in a situation that has challenged my patience and I'm not sure if I'm doing so well with it.

I met this amazing woman this weekend. Beautiful, intelligent, with a joyous smile and I felt I really hit it off with her. However, there are some complications. She's swamped this week and can't see me for several days, and I can't get her out of my mind. I haven't dated in a decade, and I especially haven't done it as a married man, so I'm kind of nervous but I feel like I'm in some sort of a holding pattern. I guess I'm still enjoying the spark of rejuvenation when you meet someone really interesting, but I'm unable to confirm it with her and I don't want to feel like a fool if it is not reciprocated. I tried texting her today to start up a conversation, and didn't get a response. But then again, her situation is odd. She's at the end of a waning relationship and is about to be separated. Now that I describe that fear against the situation, it really puts things into perspective and I don't feel so silly about getting my hopes up.

Lastly, getting used to this lifestyle has been a bit taxing. Just writing this down I feel like I could almost write a book about going through this experience. However, instead I have this looming deadline of this paper that at first I was really impassioned about, but as time has gone, I'm not as dedicated to anymore. However, I have to finish it and I want to knock it out over the next few days, but I just can't get in the right mindset to do it. (perhaps I have too much on my mind)

Fortunately, all of this is a backdrop for the amazing relationship that I've got with my wife and that is continuing to grow more amazing day by day. Tomorrow we get to sleep in together, and I'm so excited. I hope it rains all morning.
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