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Old 12-12-2011, 01:30 AM
grim64 grim64 is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 6
Default New and advice

Hello to you all, i've only just found this site and maybe i should read a bit before posting but well, things are driving me mad just now and i guess i just need to get the thoughts of others......

I've been married for 14 years and in the relationship for just under 20 years and my wife and I are both 42 and have two fabulous kids. Things have been good in the main but like all relationships there have always been ups and downs and hurdles we've both had to get over together. I love my wife and i know she loves me.

So, why am I here.........

We've both had busy careers and to help out with the kids we've had au-pairs for many years. These au-pairs have been fantastic, fun individuals, all of them. Every one has been attractive but never did anything cross my mind other they worked for us and were/are great friends....all bar one.

This is going to sound like a film but.......We all got very drunk one night and to cut a long story short it resulted in me having an affair with a 21 year old that lasted the whole 9 months until she left to go back to europe. I thought that was that but its not......

I am still in love with my wife but now also in love with someone else. I thinks its mad but i can't choose between the two, i see them both as people i love. The au-pair is now in Europe and in regular contact with me and my wife knows what happened between us. The au-pair wants to come back to live with us and says she wants us to live together as three people in a relationship and says she has thought over and over about it and its what she wants.

This is driving me mad...... my wife sometimes seems to say things about it that suggest she has thought about and then she ver anti the idea but i know its what i want.

i don't want to loose my wife and kids but i also can't say goodbye to the other side of things........hence why its driving me crazy.

My wife has said 'well you have to choose'.....but i can't ......i love them both and it goes round and round in never ending circles.....

How do i move forward......
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