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  #11  
Old 12-06-2011, 03:55 AM
monkeystyle monkeystyle is offline
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This might be the most disturbing thread I've ever read in a poly forum. These people need help, or the police, or both. The amount of domestic violence, codependent behavior and everything else being written about is sad. Whatever this is about, it certainly isn't something I'd wish on anyone.
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  #12  
Old 12-10-2011, 06:09 PM
blitzbaby3 blitzbaby3 is offline
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I am 19.
B is 20.
T is 23.

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  #13  
Old 12-10-2011, 06:11 PM
blitzbaby3 blitzbaby3 is offline
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I am sorry.

I didn't mean to be alarming.
I just needed some outlet.

It is pretty horrible.
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  #14  
Old 12-12-2011, 06:30 PM
blitzbaby3 blitzbaby3 is offline
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I'll write more as more has happened.

Well. gah lol
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  #15  
Old 12-16-2011, 03:12 AM
blitzbaby3 blitzbaby3 is offline
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So I was pretty confused after T hurt me by sending pictures to another girl. I know he was stressed by me and B's issues, but it hurt.

So I had to rely on on L for rides. It was turbulent. He'd give me rides to work and such. We had sex. I told him I was confused. I told him I had been with T and B. I told him all about it. I told him I still loved him in ways, that I couldn't give myself to anyone fully. I dated another coworker, L knew. I went on one date to forget the pain of T. I just couldn't fill the hole in my heart. I was lost. I told my family about it. B kept wanting to see me, but I have no car. Sometimes we'd make plans but she gets so insecure and says things that just turn me off the idea. I want her to make an account on here. Maybe it'd help?

On top of my confusion about T, B, and L, I had three coworkers trying to get me to date them seriously. I felt so much pressure. They kept asking me to choose them, that they wouldn't hurt me. That I should give them a chance. But I just kept wanting to give T and L chances, B hasn't hurt me like them. I was so pissed I had given them chances and nothing right was coming from it.

Two days after the big night with T and B I saw T at work. I was waiting for a ride from L. T was going out to his car for break. He saw me and smiled. I couldn't help but smile too, which pissed me off. We talked. I asked if we were still going to talk. He said we would. I asked if we were still friends. He said he were. I knew at that moment I couldn't stay mad... FUCK.
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  #16  
Old 12-16-2011, 03:26 AM
blitzbaby3 blitzbaby3 is offline
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I knew I missed him and loved him.
But I was confused and weak. There's still so much and I have to go.
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  #17  
Old 12-16-2011, 03:27 AM
blitzbaby3 blitzbaby3 is offline
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L was drinking alot and getting mean.
Now I'm sad. He talked to our mutual friends. They won't talk to me. . . . He and T had foughten two nights ago now. SO MUCH TO WRITE NO TIME
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  #18  
Old 12-16-2011, 03:29 AM
blitzbaby3 blitzbaby3 is offline
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I want to reach out for help, but how do I?

My parents just say this is adulthood.

Adults don't feel this ever. I'm getting sick often. I don't want to eat.
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  #19  
Old 12-16-2011, 03:52 AM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blitzbaby3 View Post
I want to reach out for help, but how do I?

My parents just say this is adulthood.

Adults don't feel this ever. I'm getting sick often. I don't want to eat.
Hey Blitz. I'm sorry about what you're going through. After reading through your story, my one biggest thought is that none of these people are good for you. They may have good things about them, but the bad is way outweighing the good.

Why not step back from all of it for a while, don't date anyone, just focus on having strong friendships and being the happiest, most active you you can be? Get your head straight, then think about getting back into the dating world. But I don't see how you can move forward in a positive way with these very toxic relationships in your life.

There is help out there. Your parents' reaction was kinda cold, but it's true, adults do feel this way all the time -- my own bf struggles with depression, which is what it sounds like you're going through now -- and there are resources to support you. Talk to the health department at your school, call the health department for the city or county you're in, call a local hospital, and tell them you're a young person in a bad state of mind and you're looking for low-cost, free, or sliding scale counseling services. Just keep looking until you find a service that can help, they're out there.
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The major players. Me, 30ish bi female. Gia, girlfriend of 4+ years. Clay, boyfriend/dom. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eddie, roommate & fwb.
The supporting cast. Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler. Dexter, Gia's lover. Helen, Eric's lover. Izzy and Nikki, Clay's partners. Liam, Eddie's husband.
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  #20  
Old 12-16-2011, 04:03 AM
km34 km34 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
After reading through your story, my one biggest thought is that none of these people are good for you. They may have good things about them, but the bad is way outweighing the good.
I agree with this! How do you reach out for help? Well you took one step just by sharing your story. My advice is to find a professional. Depression is a serious issue, and it doesn't sound like you're the only one who may struggle with it. If you really love these people, you will encourage them to either go to counseling with your or to go to it on their own. I know it can be expensive, but if you're going to school still a lot of colleges will offer discounted services for you (and your partners if you go as a group). Your parents may be willing to help with it too if they can.

The cycle of violence has to stop. In what you've said so far, there has been self inflicted physical wounds, physical violence between 'partners', AND emotional and psychological abuse in the forms of severely controlling tendencies and dependency issues. Please, please, please try to stop this cycle by either stepping away from these people who affect you so negatively or by seeking help for ALL OF YOU. You may have to do both. You are way too young to be stuck in an unhealthy relationship and feeling like there is no alternative.
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