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  #301  
Old 12-02-2011, 07:45 PM
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Oh, your evening sounds beautiful! Great that you're feeling content.
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  #302  
Old 12-02-2011, 10:28 PM
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Maybe you feel down deep that that is a boundary.
I'm curious what you mean by this? I feel like it could be interpreted more than one way.
Oops, sorry for my awkward wording. What I meant was...

I think that one possible interpretation of the dream is that perhaps you feel like you've crossed a boundary with Davis by not telling him about your crush on Jay. And so in your dream, that "boundary-crossing" was magnified and played out as making out and having sex with Jay. I think it might just reflect this sense you have that you're doing something wrong (for lack of a better phrase) by hiding something from Davis, or you feel like you're hiding something that he should know.

Just a hunch. My sister and I often get into dream interpretation (she's a genius at it!), so that's all I was doing. I wasn't making any judgment about your relationship or anything else.
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  #303  
Old 12-02-2011, 11:01 PM
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No judgments assumed, and you may well be right!

My comment about it maybe meaning that I'm ready to renegotiate our boundaries stems from the anger I felt towards Davis at the end of the dream. I think that it does make me feel dishonest to not tell Davis about my crush on Jay, and that maybe I've held off on telling him because I feel like it's "wrong" to have this crush when pursuing it would be breaking our boundaries. And so I'm annoyed at him on a certain level because the boundary is at his request and I don't like feeling like my feelings are wrong. It's kind of silly I guess, you can be on a diet and not be "wrong" for having a chocolate craving.

Hmm...
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  #304  
Old 12-05-2011, 04:09 AM
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What a long couple of days... G&E&B and I spent all weekend together, visiting some out of town friends who were having a party. On the road, Gia navigated, Eric drove, and I hung out in the back and kept the baby entertained which worked out very well. We stayed overnight at the party and the whole thing was lovely, lots of chill, pleasant time with our friends.

Gia and I spent a half an hour or so lying in the dimly lit guest bedroom on our own with Bee asleep between us, just talking, which was especially nice. I would have loved to have slept with them but there wasn't room and, knowing that would certainly be the case, I had brought an inflatable mattress anyway. I really miss sleeping with them. Gia speculated about maybe some day replacing their queen sized bed at home with a king.

As we were getting ready to leave in the late afternoon the next day, Eric got a call -- his cousin, who's been in the hospital, had taken a turn for the worse. We rushed there, and I helped juggle the car and the baby as we figured out what was going on. Thank god, he'd stabilized and is ok for the time being

Standing there with the three of them in the hallway outside Eric's cousin's ward as the sick boy's mother, Eric's aunt (I'm not sure if she recognized me from Gia's baby shower), filled us in; fetching the poor woman a snack (she hadn't eaten since the morning) and making sure to get a couple of extra things as well because even though G&E had said they were fine I knew they'd need something by the time we were leaving; finding things to chat about as we waited for them to be able to go in; waiting with Bee in the lobby while they visited his bedside...

I feel awful even saying this. I am so sad and sorry that this is happening. But I can't help it -- there's a part of me that thought "This is what family does, shares good and bad times equally, gives and accepts help in a crisis without hesitation. Maybe this will help make that which is already clear to me clearer to them as well, that family is what we are."
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Last edited by AnnabelMore; 12-05-2011 at 04:38 AM.
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  #305  
Old 12-05-2011, 05:22 AM
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Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
I feel awful even saying this. I am so sad and sorry that this is happening. But I can't help it -- there's a part of me that thought "This is what family does, shares good and bad times equally, gives and accepts help in a crisis without hesitation. Maybe this will help make that which is already clear to me clearer to them as well, that family is what we are."
I had a similar thought as I read the story, but maybe from a different direction. It struck me more that this is the reason why we should take the time to cultivate deep connections with people . . . and not just with one or two people, but in networks.

It all comes down to being there for one another - to park the car, or look after a child, to get a snack for someone, or even just to exchange wan, exhausted smiles - in the middle of a crisis.

There's no reason to feel sorry for thinking that.

P.S. I'm just starting to read this thread . . . cheated by starting at the end.
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  #306  
Old 12-05-2011, 06:44 AM
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... this is the reason why we should take the time to cultivate deep connections with people . . . and not just with one or two people, but in networks.
That's good for people who want to be part of a network. Some of us are loners and like it that way.
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  #307  
Old 12-05-2011, 07:22 AM
Critter Critter is offline
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Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post

I feel awful even saying this. I am so sad and sorry that this is happening. But I can't help it -- there's a part of me that thought "This is what family does, shares good and bad times equally, gives and accepts help in a crisis without hesitation. Maybe this will help make that which is already clear to me clearer to them as well, that family is what we are."

This is how we feel. Three Adults and two children working as a family. My kids are only 4 and 2 ... but they love Devo .. and ask about her often. It makes me smile to know how much she is asked for by my children.
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  #308  
Old 12-08-2011, 11:54 PM
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So, I told Davis about my crush on Jay. It was anticlimactic. He hadn't noticed anything, thought maybe the flirting was in my head (and he may well be right... some kind of brief but intense hormonal surge or something??), didn't want to hear details but also didn't seem at all upset by it. We had a very nice evening, played cards, drank wine, and watched a movie.
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  #309  
Old 12-08-2011, 11:55 PM
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This is how we feel. Three Adults and two children working as a family. My kids are only 4 and 2 ... but they love Devo .. and ask about her often. It makes me smile to know how much she is asked for by my children.
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Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
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  #310  
Old 12-08-2011, 11:59 PM
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Oh, also, Davis got a job offer today and he starts on Monday!! His contract at his old job ended back in late August and being between jobs was bumming him out, plus it was also starting to concern me that he didn't seem to be putting his all into the job search any more. He admitted that himself and reapplied himself to it last week, and this is the result! It seems like a pretty cool company too.
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